To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren,nieces, nephews, or students.. here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was "DON'T !"

"Don't what ? " Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit," God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit ?
Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit ! "

"No way! "?

" Yes way! "?

"Do NOT eat the fruit! " said God.

"Why? "

"Because I am your Father and I said so ! "God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked !

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit ? " God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you? "said the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it ! " Adam said.

"Did not! "

"Did too ! "

"DID NOT! "

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.

Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.
BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY !

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you ?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
(A joke.....don't need backlash from the wabbit)

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind
yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.


ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.

AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!

lovely inspiration for parents

"Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. "

And that's exactly why we have the pill ;)

Very good !

I love every bit

Hey cutie spqr.....and for shame for your thought....lol

You're making me tired with all these threads .. whatcha been smokin' woman?

OMG OMG do you see why she is my bestest friend.......

I just actually read that .. very funny !!!!

I am glad you enjoyed....giggle

My mom used to curse me with that, so i have managed to make it to 31 with no kids

Not a bit...I don't need myths..sorry :)

I guess your entitled......but I think at least for me my kids are the greatest thing I have ever done thus far on this planet........Reminds me of a story:

A guy get pulled over by the cops....and of course the cops want to give him a ticket....the guy thinking quick pulls out his flip phone and says, "Scotty, beam me up this planet sucks."