DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

* 40-ish.....................49.

* Adventurous..........Slept with everyone.


* Athletic...................No breasts.

* Average looking...............Moooo.

* Beautiful..................Pathological liar.

* Emotionally Secure...........On medication.

* Feminist.......................Fat.

* Free Spirit...................Junkie.

* Friendship first...............Former Slut.

* New-Age..................Body hair in the wrong places.

* Old-fashioned..................No B.J.'s

* Open-minded...................Desperate.

* Outgoing..................Loud and embarrassing.

* Professional...................Bitch.

* Voluptuous.....................Very fat.

* Large frame....................Hugely fat.

* Wants soul mate...............Stalker.



DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

* Yes.........................No

* No..........................Yes

* Maybe........................No

* We need.......................I want

* I am sorry.................You'll be sorry

* We need to talk...............You're in trouble

* Sure, go ahead................You better not

* Do what you want..............You will pay for this later

* I am not upset.......Of course, I am upset, you moron!

* You're attentive tonight..........Is sex all you ever think about?


DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:

* I am hungry........................I am hungry

* I am sleepy........................I am sleepy

* I am tired.........................I am tired

* Nice dress.........................Nice cleavage!

* I love you........................Let's have sex now

* I am bored.......................Do you want to have sex?

* May I have this dance?.....I'd like to have sex with you.

* Can I call you sometime?.....I'd like to have sex with you.


* Do you want to go to a movie?......I'd like to have sex with you.

* Can I take you out to dinner?........I'd like to have sex with you.

* I don't think those shoes go with that outfit.....I'm gay

roflmao...vg..vg

LMFAOOO very fuuny

no truer words were ever spoken

ROFLMAOOOOO - good one!