The undertaker took the widow to one side explaining there was a rather delicate problem. Not that uncommon, but he wanted to know if her husband had died in the bedroom.
“Well yes, why?”
“Hmm we do come across this at times, you see he died with an erection that just won’t go down now. We can’t actually shut the lid. You could buy a deeper coffin, but there is another solution we have used.”
“What is that?”
“We cut the penis off and tuck it away.”
“What do you mean ‘Tuck it away’?”
“Well we have found the tidiest thing is to push it up his rectum.”
“Oh that will be fine” said the widow, “and it will keep things tidier as you say.”

When things had been arranged, she asked to go in and say goodbye. Looking into the coffin it looked as if a tear was dropping from the dead man’s eye. Leaning over the widow said.
“Hurts doesn’t it you bastard.”

lol