Little Johnny was seven years old, and like other boys his age, rather
curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from other boys
and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his
questions to his mother, and she became flustered. Instead of explaining
things to Johnny she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and
watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did, and the following
morning Johnny described everything to his mother.
"Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for awhile, then he turned off
most of the lights. Then he started to kiss and hug her. I figured sis
must be getting sick because her face started looking funny. He must
have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel
her heart, just like the doctor would. Except he's not as good as the
doctor, because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart. He was
getting sick too, because pretty soon, both of them started panting and
getting all out of breath. His other hand must have been getting cold,
because he put it under her skirt.
About this time, sis got toward the end of the couch. This was when the
fever started. I know it was a fever, because sis told him she was
really HOT. Finally, I found out what was making them so sick. . . a big
eel had gotten inside his pants somehow. HONEST! Anyway, he grabbed it
in one hand to keep it from getting away. When sis saw it, she got
really scared. Her eyes got big and her mouth fell open, and she started
calling out to God and stuff like that.
I should tell her about the ones I saw at the lake! Anyway, sis got
brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its head off. All of a sudden,
she made a noise and let the eel go. I guess it bit her back. Then she
grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle out
of his pocket and slipped it over the eel's head to keep it from biting
again. Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor-lock
on it. And he helped by laying on the top of the eel. The eel put of a
hell of a fight. Sis started groaning and squealing, and her boyfriend
almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squishing
it between them.
After a while, they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. Her
boyfriend sat up and, sure enough, they had killed the eel. I knew it
was dead because it just hung there limp and some of its insides were
hanging out. Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired form the battle,
but they went on courting anyway. He started hugging and kissing her
again. And, by golly, the eel wasn't dead after all. It jumped straight
up and started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats. . . they have
nine lives or something. this time sis jumped up and tried to kill the
eel by sitting on it.
After about thirty-five minutes of struggle, they finally killed the
eel. I know it was dead this time because I saw sis's boyfriend peel off
the skin and flush it down the toilet." Mother fainted.