Interested in a life of constant arguing, withering stares, and no sex? Just keep using these phrases

Forbidden Phrase #1: "Relax."
It might seem logical to you to tell a woman who's freaking out to relax. And if "logical" meant the same thing as "stupidest idea ever," you'd be correct. Understand, a woman screaming and carrying on in anger or frustration or panic thinks that her response is 100 percent appropriate. If the inciting situation has anything to do with you, she feels she has a responsibility to freak out extra to compensate for your maddening calm.

So when you tell her to relax, you're implying that your response--i.e., nothing--is correct. You're denying that there's a reason to be upset. You're telling her she's crazy. Women may sometimes feel crazy and joke about it, but anything smacking of accusations of being crazy will be far from soothing.

Say..."I'm just as upset about this as you are. Let's deal with it together." This way she knows you're totally sympathetic. This should help her to...oh, God...relax.

Forbidden Phrase #2: "I love you." (During a fight)
In movies, "I love you" is usually employed by men during I-love-you–appropriate situations--lovemaking, walks on the beach, airport reunions. In real life, a woman hears "I love you" most often at that point in a fight when she desperately wants to get to the heart of the issue, and when you desperately want to stop this nonsense and watch Alias--which you don't normally even watch.

When you come home shirtless from a bachelor party or forget our birthdays and stand there in the face of our rage and crushing disappointment, do you really believe that merely stating the powerful existence of your love is going to make everything okay? Because it's not.

Say . . .

1. "[Insert detailed explanation of what you did and why you did it.]"

2. "It won't happen again."

3. "I love you." (It's okay at the end of the apology, just not at the beginning.)

And when you go to a bachelor party, take along an extra shirt.

Forbidden Phrase #3: "It's up to you." (A.K.A. "Whatever you want to do is fine with me.")

Relationships are full of decisions. You decide where to eat, where to go on vacation, where to send your child to preschool. Most men wouldn't dream of looking at their wife or girlfriend and saying, "You know what? I just don't care." They would, however, say, "It's up to you." And find themselves in a world of hurt they never saw coming.

Men think of decision-making as work without pay. For women, it's like window-shopping for life's possibilities, and we want you to help us shop. So when you say, "It's up to you," we feel abandoned.

Say . . . "I could definitely do A or B, but I'm not crazy about C. What are you thinking?" This shows you're listening, suggests you care, and gets you out of deciding.

i would suggest "i made out with your sister, and she was better" as a forbidden phrase as well. chicks hate that.

also i would suggest you add , are you putting on weight to that list

oH and add this too........."How much did it cost?"

also, "honey it was just a friendly game of twister, i didn't KNOW she had chlamydia"

the WORST thing 2 say 2 aa woman is "You look fat when you cry"

i thought the worst thing to say to a woman was, "Who did your makeup? Ronald McDonald?"