Honey, been there done that. Kids are no reason to stay together, they always get hurt. But you need to do what your heart tells you to do.

Good luck to you

I think the moment you asked this question, it was obvious to me that you are leaning more towards giving up on the relationship. That old saying of a relationship not being 50/50 but 100/100 on both parts is so true. He has to be into this relationship as you are. It's not 75% you, 25% him. If there is not an equal amount of work involved on both parts, then sweetie, it aint gonna work.

I would say try counseling, but then you mentioned that you felt like giving up. I was married for 9 years, and me and my ex tried counseling. Thing was, if both people don't want it to work, then counseling just won't do it. My wife wanted to move on. I think and felt she tried to help save the marriage cause she didn't want to hurt me and she wanted to see if it could work. But, in reality, she just didn't want to be with me, and in a way, I was also not wanting to be with her. Counseling can work if both people want it to. If not, then it is a waste of time.

There is nothing wrong with ending something and starting over. I am sure it will be tough, even with finances. But, I watched a friend lose alot, and now, cause of his work and dedication to getting back on his feet, he is doing well. You can't stay with someone "for the kids sake". Yes, it is a noble thought but one I find is just an excuse from doing what people know they should do. Happiness is something all of us need. We want someone who makes us happy. Who makes us feel good about ourselves. Money does not do it. Sex alone can't either. True happiness is about someone loving and caring for you....for who you are. And, from what I read, it seems that he is done with the relationship. He just doesn't know how to end it or is to wrapped up in himself to see things are not well. I feel you know what you should do, and the final decision is yours to make. But you seem ready to end it and he seems to be as well.

(((((goof))))))

so good to see you around. I love your wisdom.

Stop wasting your time with him, you and your kids need to be cared for 100% or its just going to keep hurting all of you. Good Luck