Ever tried to decode a personal ad? Well, this should help you out.

40-ish..................................49.
Adventurous..........................Slept with everyone.
Athletic................................No breasts.
Average looking.....................Moooo.
Beautiful..............................Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure..................On medication.
Feminist...............................Fat.
Free Spirit.................................Junkie.
Friendship first.......................Former Slut.
New-Age.........................Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned........................No B.J.'s
Open-minded.........................Desperate.
Outgoing..............................Loud and embarrassing.
Professional................. ..........B**ch.
Voluptuous...........................Very fat.
Large frame...........................Hugely fat.
Wants soul mate.....................Stalker.

well put..

sh*t.. thats why she said I was beautiful and voluptuous!!

it's so true

Lmao