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| Topic: family guy | |
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Tom Tucker: A bit of breaking news. A local family is forced out of their home by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?
Diane Simmons (sighs): Ghostbusters, Tom. Tom Tucker: No, Diane. Their insurance company. That's just stupid what you said |
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Meg: I just want to kill myself I'm gonna go upstairs and eat a whole bowl of peanuts.
(Lois and Peter stare in silence) Meg: I'm allergic to peanuts. (Peter and Lois keep staring) Meg: You dont know anything about me. (runs upstairs) Peter: Who was that guy? |
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Peter (when he's hungover): This sucks worse than that time I went to that museum. (Flashback to childhood, standing in museum looking at dinosaur
skeltons.) Peter (as a child): Why did all the dinosaurs die out? Man at Museum: Because you touch yourself at night. |
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Stewie (to one of the prostitutes at Cleveland's house): So, is there any tread left on the tires? Or at this point would it be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?
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(Lois finds a note in Chris's pocket)
Lois: Huh, what's this? You know Stewie, Mommy doesn't usually read things out of Chris's pocket. She's more respectful than that. Stewie: Whatever helps you sleep at night, *****. |
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Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'
Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios |
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Peter - I'm afraid I have some very bad news, your wife's gonna be a vegetable. You're gonna have to bathe her, feed her, and care for her for the rest of your life.
Guy - OH MY GOD! Peter - No no no, I'm just kiddin. She's dead. |
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Family Guy rules
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I would vote for Quagmire.
 Peter: I told Lois I wouldn't drink Quagmire: Don't feel so bad Peter Peter: Hey, I never thought of it that way. |
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Hey Quagmire, isn't there an "O" in "Country"
Not the way I spell it! Giggedy-giggedy-goo! 
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Boobedy bobbedy
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