Questions you can't answer:


Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Did you ever stop and wonder......
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum."

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on.......

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

I can answer one.

Goofy takes Viagra. While Pluto won`t do anything for his E.D.

Were is Santa Claus gonna go to when the North Pole Melts...

Cracked me up ...thank you

good points.................................all!

All are very good questions

A lot of these questions have simple answers. I'll give a couple of examples:

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Not enough testosteron?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? Because people are stupid.


Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? To force you to get funds in there quickly and avoid it from happening.

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? They didn't. And if they did, it's for radio communication.


What is the speed of darkness? Darkness does not really exist so it can't have a speed.

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? This one makes no sense. You'd first have to know the absolute zero temperature. Which, correct me if I'm wrong, is still unknown I believe.

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? To look at stuff from a different perspective.


Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Maybe it's your breath :)

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? No.

Here's another question...Are you a smartass or a buzzkill?

One correction coming up:

Absolute zero describes a theoretical system that neither emits nor absorbs energy. It is the point at which particles have a minimum energy, determined by quantum mechanical effects, which is called the zero-point energy.

By international agreement, absolute zero is defined as precisely 0 K on the Kelvin scale, which is a thermodynamic (absolute) temperature scale, and –273.15 °C on the Celsius scale.[1] Absolute zero is also precisely equivalent to 0 °R on the Rankine scale (also a thermodynamic temperature scale), and −459.67°F on the Fahrenheit scale.

It is not possible to cool any substance to 0 K,[2] but scientists have made great advancements in achieving temperatures close to absolute zero, where matter exhibits odd quantum effects such as superconductivity and superfluidity. In 2003, researchers at MIT achieved 500 pK (0.5×10−9 K). [3]

But can we REALLY trust google?

A little of both, but I'm leaning towards smartass :)

nope, that's why I use Yahoo

wikipedia rocks, too!

LOL