THESE ARE ALL TRUE STORIES, FROM EMERGENCY ROOMS AROUND THE COUNTRY:
FEMALE SOFA----- A 500lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a
hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her
armpit, a dime was found under one of her breasts and a remote control
was found lodged between the folds of her
vulva.

PRICKLY PAIR-----OUCH! In Michigan, a man came into the ER with
lacerations to his penis. He complained that his wife had "...a rat in
her privates..." which bit him during sex (not the first conclusion I
would have drawn, I don't think). After an examination of his wife, it
was revealed that she had a surgical needle left inside her after a
recent hysterectomy.

PING PONG ANYONE? ----- A 20 year old man came into the ER with a stony
mass in his rectum. He said that he and his boyfriend were fooling
around with concrete mix, when his boyfriend had the idea of pouring
the mix into his anus using a funnel (you'd do the same, I'm sure!)?!!.
The concrete then hardened, (no shit
Sherlock!), causing constipation and pain. Under general anesthesia, a
perfect concrete cast of the man's rectum was removed along with a ping
pong ball. (Boy we live sheltered lives!)

BLIND DRUNK----- A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining of
severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said that they
would come out halfway, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried to
help using a suction pump, but without success. Finally, a doctor
examined him and discovered the man did not have his contact lenses in
at all. He had been trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea.

OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH! ---- A couple hobbled into a Washington State
emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his
hands around his abdomen and the woman had hers around her head. They
eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening for
a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the
table to administer oral sex to the man (Classy or what??).
While in the act, she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp
down on the man's penis and wrench it from side to side. In agony and
desperation, the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until
she let go.
And you thought YOU were having a bad day!!!!

the last one got me...ROTFLMAO to funny!!! glad he didnt grab a
knife..LOL

OK, those were too funny. I live in ILLINOIS and the one I heard of was
of a woman who went into the emergency room with a glass coke bottle
dangling from between here legs, and not knowing how to remove it. The
doctor had her get on the exam table and placed towels all the way
around the bottle and hit it with a hammer, breaking the bottle and
releasing it. From then on she was known only as, "Heavy Duty Juicy
Judy."
The things people will use as play toys. Sad, but true.
PMS

One other I heard about:

A young guy, early 20s, went to the ER and was all beat up and bruised
around his head. The Dr. asked him what had happened. He finally
admitted he was trying to commit suicide. He drank a bunch of vodka and
took some nitroglycerin pills. Was running back and forth into a wall
trying to get himself to blow up -- this is a true story.

LMFAOOOO

roflmao

great minds lol what will thay come up with next.

i got a story, but its not as dumb as those. it was pretty fu*kin stupid
though.

well fire away, don't keep us in suspenders ;-)