"The Fish on the Line"
-- by TelephoneMan



Sometimes love hooks into you like a treble-bladed fish hook
And you wake up one morning praying to God to take the fish-hook out of your heart
It tears at you, it makes you bleed
And the fishing person who caught you is merciless in their pull on the line

When you figure out you are not a match, its like you can see the net being lowered into the water
That is when the struggle is at its greatest
Oh, anything to find a sharp rock under this ocean
To bring the line against so that it will cut in two

At first the bait was tempting
The person says everything in her power to draw you closer
Things are mentioned that aren't even reality
Then when you figure her out....

She pretends she doesn't drink, but drinks when ever she wants
She pretends she doesn't smoke, but tells you later she is trying to quit
She pretends she doesn't do drugs, then in a conversation says she has weed in her house...
Why the deception?

She pretends she loves you, but when you press her on the issue, she says "I just want to be friends"
But you had already let that "L" word sink into your flesh
It is now a treble fish-hook grabbing at you, pulling you out of the element that gives you life

You realize that you are only one more prey to this person of sport
There is no love in return, she withholds it on purpose
"Catch and release", that is her game, "catch and release"
Little do you know, even if you were to jump in her boat

Things start to NOT add up...
Why did she say all her ex-boyfriends were addicts?
Why does she now admit to being a co-dependent...
Is that the personality and behavior of what she claims is a "Christian" woman?
Why would a "Christian" woman hang out with druggies and drunks?
I wonder if she is one herself... but she is keeping it hid...
Why would a "Christian" woman have a stash of dope in her house?
If found, they could make her lose her home....
If I lived there, I'd lose mine, too...
Things don't add up... its like a computer virus, a bad math problem that the operating system rejects...

Thank God that my mind is quick enough to catch computer viruses
She hates the idea of college, and I am in college until my Ph.D.
She hates jazz, and I have spent a greater portion of my life researching the subject
She despises technology, and my major in college is Technology Management
She loathes managers, and the concept of managing, and I am a manager
It doesn't add up, its a computer virus, it doesn't compute
Its a fish hook in my mouth dragging me to a place I do not want to go

Loneliness, oh the damned loneliness...
If it would leave me alone, I could drink in the waters of life
Bring in that which nourishes me through my gills
But some yanking sportswoman yanks at the treble hook in my mouth
It gets my attention for a time
But I realize that I am much happier in the depths of the ocean


I am that lone wolf, 99% of the time I have no need for a significant other
This is a gift, because for some, loneliness is a pit
Loneliness to some is a dark place where demons live
A place they fear to survive by themselves

But I have a light that emits from my person
It is not a light of my own doing, it is a light God gives me
It shines ever so bright out into the world
It brings me joy, peace, and many blessings
This light shines in dark places like lonely pits, and I have no fear of those places

It is a fact, that I live most peacefully in a dark, lonely place
The ocean is dark, and the deeper I swim, the more beautiful the darkness
I am a fish, I am accustomed to the deep
I am not at my best around those who are shallow and live in that world
Find me a drop-off to challenge my mind, and I will willingly swim to its edge and jump off

This sportswoman has the appearance of being able to go deep
But it is a mirage, it is a thing that does not really exist
In order to go deep, she must attach lead sinkers to her line
Otherwise it would float on top of the water, and never make it down to where I am
She is not deep, she is shallow, and floats along in her fisher-boat on the surface
Playing "catch and release" with what ever man will get hooked on her line

I am an old, wise fish, and I have never been caught
I've seen a couple of boats in my day, but I was able to jump back into the ocean
They didn't get a chance to gut me and leave my innerds in the trash by the pier
They didn't cut off my head and stick me in a skillet with onions
I am still here, in the ocean, alone where I am happiest

Never in my life, not even one time since I was a teen, have I found a wholesome woman
Every woman I have met has been one of the types that fools around and is unfaithful
It is not a good marking for the world of fisherwomen
But from my ocean of depth, I see these types, and the weapons of hell they wield

I've seen many others get trapped in their nets
Some of my friends, some of my siblings, some of my fellow wise fish
I've witnessed a few get gutted and be-headed, and thrown into the fire
Men who were good men, who got drawn into some fisherwoman's lair
Brought back to the hunting camp, and devoured
These women are even worse than a "catch and release" fisherwoman

For there are those that will scale the best man-fish
They will take off the very outside of the fish that makes him alive
They strip him up out of the water, and then cut off his tail
In his last gasp for water, his gills fill with air, and he dies a miserable death in the hands of these types

Here is what I am waiting for.....

That woman who has guts enough to jump into my ocean
Leave that funky shallow boat behind, and come see what I deem as love
Let me be the man, and let me guide you to the places of my deep ocean that I admire
Here in this place is freedom, and I have no need to drag you down with some fish-hook

Is there even one woman-fish in this whole world?
In 46 years of life, I have not yet seen even one
All I have seen is shallow boat-riding fisher-women
Sorry, love is not up there... death is up there... I need the ocean... I need the depth... the depth is life

I need to be inside of nature, not riding around in a boat looking at nature
I need to touch it, and feel it against my skin, I need to swim in it as the great fish that I am
I will never be caught by the fisherwoman
She doesn't have the brains to figure me out, because she lives in a shallow world

So if you want me, you'll have to buy some scuba gear
You're going to have to leave your petty make-up behind and jump into something much deeper, beyond the surface of outer beauty
Beauty is that which is from inside, but many fisherwomen ride the surface, thinking beauty is up there, it is not...
Beauty is down here where I am, in the depths, in the deepest of the ocean floor
That is why they never find it... because they are just stupid fisherwomen, complaining about being lonely in a world full of deep men

Just give me one that wants to dive over the edge of the ignorant shallow boat
Just give me one that is brave enough to jump in with the fish
Just give me one that is smart enough to throw away all of the fishing tackle, and buy some scuba gear
Then, as I take her by the hand (or gill...), she'll see she can breath under water
That it is a natural thing... because all this time, she was a fish, too

Then let her gills fill with the beauty of what is in the deep
Let her swim with me AWAY from the idiots who float around in their shallow boats
(yes, there are many fishermen up there, too... equally as shallow as the fisherwomen)
We'll find the depths together, we'll experience the ocean bottom together

How deep can this man-fish reach? No woman has ever found...
For I won't be "caught"... but maybe someday a woman-fish will swim along side of me.......

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Sometimes we have to swim in the opposite direction of the rest of the school......

I love the analogy. Just watching fish swim can be hypnotic.

Its interesting what utter pain and anxiety will inspire....

Sometimes the fish will spit the hook out and swim away quickly. To live another day, depending on the front moving in.
Some women put on "fronts" they are the artificial bait.
Whether they be a "tiny torpedo","purple worm" or a "buzz bait" they are still artificial just a different face. I am sure it is hard sometimes in the murk to actually see the difference before it too late. Good luck and nice write.

Very good analogies...

Sometimes the fisher uses worms which they brought out of a can they opened up in a previous situation... I can't say I have tasted worms, but I can't imagine they taste very good... it is those that exist in a realm of drama day-to-day that I would steer away from the most... for it seems as if those fishers live in a world full of an open can of worms... when they try to use one of the worms as bait, it doesn't work with me...

It is the one who will jump in the water after me... that is the one I look for... one that is not afraid to get wet and leave the comfort of the shallow fishing boat of life...

Love has a depth... fishing boats only skim the surface...

:-)

Yes I agree it is nice to find someone who does not mind getting wet for the "catch" of a lifetime.

I don't think I will ever be "caught"... or any part of a "catch"... it seems to have an inference of control on the opposing party... they "catch" criminals... that's the whole point of a fisher-person being in a boat, they are looking to "catch" something... you can "catch" the flu, too... the whole business of "being caught" seems to be a struggle and not much worth the bother... especially considering the shallowness of the fisher seeking to catch the fish... me being the fish...

However, I could fully see myself mixing together with another drop of water, becoming one larger, better drop of water... there is a lot more freedom in that vernacular. Water contains hydrogen, and it contains oxygen... two oxygens to one hydrogen, actually... enough oxygen where both parties have their own oxygen to use... apply electricity, and the molecules separate... giving each person enough air to breathe...

I'll take my chances waiting for a drip to mix with my drop, so we can be a couple of mixed drops... before you know it, we'd be a whole lake full of water, and have fish swimming about and everything...

Just jump in.....