My best friend has been married for about 15 years, we live about 300 miles apart and talk on the phone about 2 x a month and visit each way about 2 x a year, he's on the coast and I still like going to the beach and enjoying the view.
Anyway, he recently called me and sd he is convinced his wife is having a relationship with some friends, man and his wife, she goes there a lot, they know things before he does about things she is doing, school, time off at work etc, and she flirts openly with the other man, sometimes the other wife starts talking to him and takes him away so the other two are basically left alone. She has also made comments about the other man fixing things around their house because "he is so handy". Rick even made a comment about finding a gf, she tld him to go ahead, he told her he would at least get someone further away from home, not a neighbor like her boyfriend was, all she said was whatever.
Ok, I haven't like this woman since I met her, told him not to marry her but he did, no common kids, he has 1 from 1st and she has 2 from fist and neither live with them. i don't feel comfortable telling him to bail and don't look back, I don't know anything for sure, just what he thinks. I told him maybe some time apart would be good, his response was he hates sleeping alone, maybe I'll find a gf first. I guess there could be some sense in this approach but then again can he find something real at 50 starting over and still technically taken?
I've been through 4 girlfriends in the last 5 years and single now so how to deal with his long term situation is out of my league!!!
Any real thoughts, ideas or suggestions appreciated!!
Any questions I didn't answer I'll follow up on.

People tend to forget that in getting married you have taken oaths... It is not ok to cheat on your significant other but then it's also not ok to go nuts and threaton them either with an eye for an eye. I think that they need to sit down and talk like adults. He needs to ask her if she's having an affair straight out and if so why. If she is, in fact, having an affair then he needs to listen to everything she has to say and then tell her straight up, as an adult, his feelings on it. Through communication, they're going to have to decide for themselves if she's going to have to stop, they are going to find some way to cope through it or he's going to have to stand his ground and say "I'd rather be fine alone than sick with you." The only thing you can do as a friend is listen to what he's got to say, help him get his thoughts clear and be honest about what you think if he asks your opinion. Sorry I can't be of more help, good luck man

support you friend, but stay out of it.
He is a big boy, can make his own decisions.
You could get caught in the middle.

You know this is a tricky situation and one that requires a lot of thaught. I have a guy friend who recently told me that his best friend of like forever was coming to visit and that he was going to meet his misstress in Idaho before showing up at his house. I went off...the reason I did this was because my friend told me that the two would be staying at his condo together for the weekend. I do not condone extra marital anything and cheating is sooo wrong on so many levels!
I also told him by letting his friend and misstress stay he is anitially getting in the middle whether he wants to be or not.
So about a week ago his friends wife hears him talking silently on the phone to my friend and she starts asking questions and finds out that he was having an affair and who the woman was...the woman was stressing the man to leave his wife and marry her and becoming obsessed with this man...and guess what?? My friend is in the middle of it!! I told him this was going to happen and I told him to not get invilved because just as the man is his best friend the mans wife is naturally his best friend too and he is torn between the two.

This is a hard question and a very difficult decision for you as a true friend, but my suggestion to you is don't get involved because it will be a tug-a-war for you!!
The age factor does play a big part on your frinds situation and not in terms of being able to find someone else it is because he is settled in his ways and his life. There are many woman out there that would be more than willing to have a man his age especially an accomplished man (None Goldigger of course) Him getting a gf now before he is divorced or whatever is only going to add to the problem...some time alone may be good for him!!

Good Luck...Jenn!! :)

Odd, thanks for the response, you seem wise beyond years, I forsee a bright happy future for you, stay the course.
Sage, yeah, I've already caught some of it, the" I know you never liked her and I should have listened" keeps ringing in my ears and I don't like the sound, they had several good years until this, now I can't get him to see past it.
Thanks, Jenn, a female view on the subject helps but still leaves me wanting to help but not wanting to but in, although I'm already butted in by proxy at least

when hes ready he'll leave just be a friend

Who says she is cheating, maybe since he makes idle threats to her about getting a girlfriend she is just more comfortable with this other man, maybe your friend and she need to go to couseling. Maybe he is just the jealous type that sees things that arn't there.

Maybe maybe maybe...dince we arn't any of the people in the situation we don't know, so maybe we shouldn't pass judgement on what these consenting adults do.

what should you do? Nothing, cuz if it comes out that she is not cheating. You're gonna be the bad guy. be supportive, that's all you can do.

Yep! That's the best thing you can do. You might end up losing your friend if you butt in. Just be neutral and supportive.