Topic: Marketing Jargon
uk1971's photo
Tue 01/29/08 06:24 PM
NEW Different colour from previous design

ALL NEW Parts not interchangeable with previous design

EXCLUSIVE Imported product

UNMATCHED Almost as good as the competition

DESIGNED SIMPLICITY Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone

FOOLPROOF OPERATION No provision for adjustments

ADVANCED DESIGN The advertising agency doesn't understand it

IT'S HERE AT LAST! Rush job; Nobody knew it was coming

FIELD-TESTED Manufacturer lacks test equipment

HIGH ACCURACY Unit on which all parts fit

DIRECT SALES ONLY Factory had big argument with distributor

YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT We finally got one that works

REVOLUTIONARY It's different from our competitors

BREAKTHROUGH We finally figured out a way to sell it

FUTURISTIC No other reason why it looks the way it does

DISTINCTIVE A different shape and color than the others

MAINTENANCE-FREE Impossible to fix

RE-DESIGNED Previous faults corrected, we hope...

HAND-CRAFTED Assembly machines operated without gloves

PERFORMANCE PROVEN Will operate through the warranty period

MEETS ALL STANDARDS Ours, not yours

ALL SOLID-STATE Heavy as Hell!

BROADCAST QUALITY Gives a picture and produces noise

HIGH RELIABILITY We made it work long enough to ship it

SMPTE BUS COMPATIBLE When completed, will be shipped by Greyhound

NEW GENERATION Old design failed, maybe this one will work

MIL-SPEC COMPONENTS We got a good deal at a government auction


CUSTOMER SERVICE ACROSS THE COUNTRY You can return it from most airports

UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE Nothing we ever had before worked THIS way

BUILT TO PRECISION TOLERANCES We finally got it to fit together

SATISFACTION GUARANTEED Manufacturer's, upon cashing your check

MICROPROCESSOR CONTROLLED Does things we can't explain

AEROSPACE TECHNOLOGY One of our techs was laid off by Boeing

bigsmile glasses


plp's photo
Tue 01/29/08 06:27 PM
Uk, SATISFACTION GUARANTEED Manufacturer's, upon cashing your check. How true. It would be nice if this posting was put on major products.

ephraimglass's photo
Tue 01/29/08 10:34 PM
I actually work in technical sales. One day, I had to call up one of our technical specialists with a tough question and he told me I ought to aim for marketing because I described it as a "challenging application."