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| Topic: Marketing Jargon | |
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NEW Different colour from previous design
ALL NEW Parts not interchangeable with previous design EXCLUSIVE Imported product UNMATCHED Almost as good as the competition DESIGNED SIMPLICITY Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone FOOLPROOF OPERATION No provision for adjustments ADVANCED DESIGN The advertising agency doesn't understand it IT'S HERE AT LAST! Rush job; Nobody knew it was coming FIELD-TESTED Manufacturer lacks test equipment HIGH ACCURACY Unit on which all parts fit DIRECT SALES ONLY Factory had big argument with distributor YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT We finally got one that works REVOLUTIONARY It's different from our competitors BREAKTHROUGH We finally figured out a way to sell it FUTURISTIC No other reason why it looks the way it does DISTINCTIVE A different shape and color than the others MAINTENANCE-FREE Impossible to fix RE-DESIGNED Previous faults corrected, we hope... HAND-CRAFTED Assembly machines operated without gloves PERFORMANCE PROVEN Will operate through the warranty period MEETS ALL STANDARDS Ours, not yours ALL SOLID-STATE Heavy as Hell! BROADCAST QUALITY Gives a picture and produces noise HIGH RELIABILITY We made it work long enough to ship it SMPTE BUS COMPATIBLE When completed, will be shipped by Greyhound NEW GENERATION Old design failed, maybe this one will work MIL-SPEC COMPONENTS We got a good deal at a government auction CUSTOMER SERVICE ACROSS THE COUNTRY You can return it from most airports UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE Nothing we ever had before worked THIS way BUILT TO PRECISION TOLERANCES We finally got it to fit together SATISFACTION GUARANTEED Manufacturer's, upon cashing your check MICROPROCESSOR CONTROLLED Does things we can't explain AEROSPACE TECHNOLOGY One of our techs was laid off by Boeing  
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Uk, SATISFACTION GUARANTEED Manufacturer's, upon cashing your check. How true. It would be nice if this posting was put on major products.
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I actually work in technical sales. One day, I had to call up one of our technical specialists with a tough question and he told me I ought to aim for marketing because I described it as a "challenging application."
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