if you are married, do you see anything wrong with having an account of
your own?

I've always had my own accounts married or single. That is not to say
that he hasnt known what was in them. Actually he had his own too and we
had one for the household that was a joint account. I also think you
should buy big purchases seperately to build credit.

that's what i'm saying i guess i'm just use to people thinking that i'm
hiding something if i have something of my own

Naw not unless you are lol.... thats just immature drama.

no kidding but for some reason i draw freaks

maybe it's my red nose and big floppy shoes lol they think i'm leading
them to the carnival

I think that marriage should be the union of two people. I don't think
they should keep everything seperate. I plan on giving my wife the
option of being a house wife if she chooses to be. I don't think that
the accounts should be seperate. You both should be able to make wise
decisions regarding money. If you guys go out to eat do you split the
bill? There are way too many things to split if you keep seperate
expenses. What if the spouse already owned a house and you moved in
with them would you buy half of the house? Part of being married is
completely supporting your spouse in any way that you can. If it comes
down to money and you have it why keep it from them. If you are getting
married to them you should trust them enough to not use you.

eh, dont worry about it I've often wondered if I have a NUT-MAGNET
implanted in my forehead

thats where the joint household account comes in handy and you both feed
into it, but its nice to have your own money that you can do things like
buy him a set of golf clubs for his birthday or whatever. Its not about
it being secret its about retaining some independence only the insecure
and needy want to control everything in each others life.. Well thats
been my experience anyway

that's what we were saying having a joint account would you be upset if
your partner told you that they also wanted a little something in their
own private account. but i completely agree with you. part of a
marriage is handling joint ventures.

I have to agree with whoadoggy here. I think once you are married that
you should keep your accounts together. You are suppose to be one, and
everything should be shared. Thats what marriage is all about, if your
going to keep seperate accounts, is there a reason? Is someone planning
on leaving or keeping another person? I say pool your money and you
better trust your mate or don't marry that person!

No, I do not see that as a problem. However, this should be discussed
before marriage, so that it is not a suprise. I can say that I have
managed very well as a(n) young adult who is DEBT free and I intend to
stay that way even through marriage. Too many hans in the pot is not a
good thing.

that would probably be a good idea. like it was said it would not be a
secret nest egg or nothing, bills wouldn't be hidden or anything

My ex wife was terrible with keeping a check book properly. So I gave
her her own account. I used my account for the construction jobs I did.
Then we had a joint account which the ex had limited access to by her
not carrying the check book. So my personal account was sort of a
business account. My check from the factory was direct deposited into
the joint acount. She used her account to send off the bills that had to
go through the mail and what ever else she did. It was a way of this
very busy hard working husband to make sure there was money put back.
Her bank account had a saving account that was pulled out of for over
drafts to protect us.

The thing is when you sit down and do your budget you need all the bank
statements together. Do not hide anything. And yes my private account in
my eyes was our money not mine it was just set a side as my horse
trading, cow hustling, construction, plumbing and eletric work fund. At
times it had 5K in it that I refused to let her touch even to pay off a
bill. But that is because unless you know farming in any since it is
seasonal to some extent. Cattle prices rise and fall so I sold when they
got high and bought small weights when they were low. When you sell off
a large lot you need money stashed back to purchase the next good deal.
It was not I wanted to keep the money from her or not pay the car
off(the bill she kept bugging me to pay off), it was she did not
understand the nature of the business.

If you seem to be hiding money in a private account to your other half
it says to them that you do not trust them. Letting them see the numbers
month/quarterly when you discuss the budget wether or not it is a formal
budget meeting like some have, lets them know what you have. If you
happen to be self employed it can be hard to get across to the other
person about keeping a reserve amount but atleast try to explain it that
you are not with holding money from the house hold. I have seen
marriages destroyed by both parties having their own bank accounts
because of distrust. Then again I have seen it work great and in these
good cases they were upfront with showing the amount of money in the
account. After a time this becomes less necessary but keep doing it to
remove any doubts regularly.

i think you put it perfectly.
man you really had alot on your plate didn't you?
my grandfathers family were farmers down in arkansas which is a warm
climate but when you consider the growing cycles and alternating crops
you have to stay on top of that sort of thing.
i bet with all of your experience you'd make a pretty good
business manager for a large construction company

exactly honeyrobber

I would have to get alot of schooling for that. You would be surprised
at how much weird crap you have to know to be a manager on large scale
sites. One of the jobs I took right out of college was working for such
a firm that built water treatment and sewer treatment plant. Concrete
has different ratings and must be put through a pressure test. Each
cement truck that pulls upto a job site gives the barrel a shake and
quick mix and pours a card board cylender full of concrete before
pouring the job site. You have to mark on the cylinder a load number and
write down what part of the building that cylinder is being put into.
After 21 days the cylinders are sawn to give 2 perfectly flat surfaces
and give the rated amount of pressure and the concrete has to hold that
pressure for so long. If the concrete fails the test you have to tear up
the concrete and any work you have done since then and replace it. I
worked on a job where the company mixed their own concrete so there was
no supplier to sue for the bad concrete that went bankrupt and the
company I worked for took the job. So yah I know just enough to have
management wrote all over me but not enough schooling to make it work.
Plus nearly all managers in construction actually have to work and I can
not do that type work.

i was talking about more residential some of them are easier to get in
to. i used to do various construction jobs mainly working with concrete,
stone, brick and block. i hope everything works out for you you seem to
have 2 lifetimes of knowledge and it seems with todays
industries(assuming you wanted to) someone would pay for it but it seems
that any more they would rather take a kid out of college who really
doesn't know as much but they have the schooling....crazy world ain't
it.

Sadly that is the truth of it. I learned by doing. I am truely a jack
of all trades and master of none(well I am a great gardner and even got
some college in this). How I learned so much in such a short time is I
have never worked just one job. When I was in college I had a full time
second shift job with some over time and had 19-22 class hours of
college. I was doing my school work during lunch and breaks. That is how
you go from nothing(as my parents are not well off enough to give head
starts) to having 40K equity in a home in 10 years after leaving
college. Also what ever job I had I tried to learn all I could about it.
Like the job while I was going to college was in a steel press shop. I
jumped in and helped tool and die guys replace punches and such which
was not my job and I could have done like most and goofed off during
this time. Then at the factory I worked when I broke my back, I also
helped tool and die work on the dies and some of them were surprised and
how much this uneducated person knew about how to make a die run. It was
listening to the T&D guys and a little common sense.

I have found out a person that my father taught to graft japaneese
maples is doing in home tissue culture. I am going to work it out so I
can go stay in my sister cabin in Seveirville(check spelling next to
Gatlinburg) and then drive up to his place for him to teach me how he is
doing it. He said he uses test tubes and fish tanks and all start up
cost are less than $2k. Our idea is to grow these newer tetraploid day
lillies which sell for $50-500 each. It would take 2 years from tissue
culture to get a grown plant but it only cost about $2 each to get them
that old. If I get this going the way we think it could be done I could
be back on top in about 3-4 years.

I maybe down right now but I am not out. I have a good head on my
shoulders and I just have to over come I worked for a living and now I
have to use my head and one good arm. I just have had no luck finding
that niche or job that I can do.

it sounds like you're going to be alright though, you have an excellent
idea. them plants and trees if you wait till they are full grown to
purchase are worth a whole lot more money than you put in.
i have an idea of what your talking about with work too cause i'm the
same way i'll learn anything i can even if it's on my break i'm 30 and i
haven't done it in a couple years but i know 5 or six trades and i'm not
a hack good luck with the future.