Topic: No Sex Tonight
uk1971's photo
Mon 01/28/08 10:24 AM
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says
"I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying,
"Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said,
"I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out,
"No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
"WHAT?"
I then said
"Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

bigsmile glasses


guylian's photo
Mon 01/28/08 10:29 AM
haha omg good one =]

devildog08's photo
Mon 01/28/08 10:31 AM
you had to be such a smart ass huh. lol. that was good.

Vanzandtt's photo
Mon 01/28/08 10:32 AM
Hahahaha. I lol'd.

jtitol's photo
Mon 01/28/08 10:37 AM
laugh laugh laugh

Sharon31216's photo
Mon 01/28/08 11:14 AM
HAHAHAHHAA happy i need some laughs