Topic: I OWE MY MOTHER
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Fri 01/25/08 05:37 AM
I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC .
" Because I said so, that ' s why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY .
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world
who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM .
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE..
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you

wildsideof35's photo
Fri 01/25/08 05:39 AM
flowerforyou flowerforyou Oh so true!!! My mom died when I was 3 so didn't have that...but made it thru anyway!!!flowerforyou

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Fri 01/25/08 05:39 AM
laugh flowerforyou We must of had the same mom!!!!drinker

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Fri 01/25/08 05:40 AM

flowerforyou flowerforyou Oh so true!!! My mom died when I was 3 so didn't have that...but made it thru anyway!!!flowerforyou


sorry to hear that....flowerforyou

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Fri 01/25/08 05:41 AM

laugh flowerforyou We must of had the same mom!!!!drinker


laugh laugh laugh

PacificStar48's photo
Fri 01/25/08 05:44 AM
lol very funny.

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Fri 01/25/08 05:45 AM
laugh laugh laugh

DebbieJT's photo
Fri 01/25/08 05:49 AM
whats funny is im a mum now and find myself sying some of them laugh laugh laugh

382's photo
Fri 01/25/08 06:05 AM
did she teach you about GIVING
"stop you crying or i will GIVE you something to cry about"

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Fri 01/25/08 06:08 AM
Thank you for putting up a post that would make me smile so early in the morning. That's not easy to do!

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Fri 01/25/08 01:56 PM

did she teach you about GIVING
"stop you crying or i will GIVE you something to cry about"


forgot about that one...

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Fri 01/25/08 01:57 PM

whats funny is im a mum now and find myself sying some of them laugh laugh laugh


me too..... maybe thats what makes this sooo funny

Journey2008's photo
Fri 01/25/08 02:00 PM


did she teach you about GIVING
"stop you crying or i will GIVE you something to cry about"


forgot about that one...


OMG not only did my mom say those things to me, but I said them to my own kids...now I'm saying them to the grandkidslaugh flowerforyou laugh

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Fri 01/25/08 02:03 PM



did she teach you about GIVING
"stop you crying or i will GIVE you something to cry about"


forgot about that one...


OMG not only did my mom say those things to me, but I said them to my own kids...now I'm saying them to the grandkidslaugh flowerforyou laugh



NOW THAT IS HISTORY REPEATING ITSELFlaugh laugh laugh

MsTeddyBear2u's photo
Fri 01/25/08 03:44 PM
laugh laugh laugh



I brought you into this world...
I can take you out! :wink: (My Fave)

madamx7316's photo
Fri 01/25/08 03:45 PM
totally awesome post!!!flowerforyou