Competitive salary: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

Join our fast-paced company: We have no time to train you.

Casual work atmosphere: We don't pay you enough to expect that you'll dress nicely.

Must be deadline oriented: You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

Must be flexible: On many occasions, you'll be asked to bend over and grab your ankles.

Some overtime required: Some time each night and some time each weekend.

Duties will vary: Anyone in the office can boss you around.

Must have an eye for detail: We have no quality control.

Career-minded: Female employees must be childless (and remain that way).

Apply in person: If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.

No phone calls please: We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

Seeking candiates with a wide variety of experience: You'll need it to replace the three people who just left.

Problem-solving a must: You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

Requires team leadership skills: You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

That is my job exactly!

Hey that is where I work!