Topic: marriage in the military
daniel48706's photo
Tue 01/22/08 10:00 PM
should marriage only be allowed to certain ranks in the military?

I can see pros and cons to both sides of this argument. What do you think?

sabxisrad's photo
Tue 01/22/08 10:02 PM
Edited by sabxisrad on Tue 01/22/08 10:03 PM
idk.. my friend is the army and she's an e4, her husband is an e5 almost e6.
i dont see what the issue is.. love is love man.
i mean when it comes to following commands i guess i can see it being an issue or people thinking the spouse will get certain priviledges but if they're mature enough to not let the relationship interfer with work then i dont see an issue.

aubreylee17's photo
Tue 01/22/08 10:03 PM
well, all i know is i love military guys:wink: hehehe

Redhat11's photo
Tue 01/22/08 10:03 PM
I don't think that. Only thing that always bothered me were my soldiers (specifically 18yr olds), were always getting married to the first thing they saw, and caused a lot of problems

IndnPrncs's photo
Tue 01/22/08 10:04 PM
I don't understand why it would be an issue.. If they weren't allowed to be married we'd have less people joining that we do now.. It's not like they're taken care of now the way they should be for protecting our country..

no photo
Tue 01/22/08 10:04 PM
I think as a young soldier its not a hot idea. Seen many young wives always going to the bars I bounced at while I was in when there husbands were away in the field. Also there was a rash of murders going on Posts statewide. Em's would come back, find Jane had cheated and kill her. There were many sad scenario's of this. Marriage is hard to maintain in the military no doubt

daniel48706's photo
Tue 01/22/08 10:06 PM
however the argument used, is that the lower ranks (the line differs with each person) should not be married and with kids as they do not make enough to truly support a family, and bs along those lines. It is thought that (generally speaking) anyone under the rank of E6 (for the army) is not capable of being responsible enough to raise a family along with doing what they have to do for the military.

sexxyandsingle's photo
Tue 01/22/08 10:06 PM
Sure you should be able to hell this is america right ? but im leaning towards what kevin says these guys go off serve our country they come back and find out there fiance has been around the block three times and everyone knew except the army guy just a thought

daniel48706's photo
Tue 01/22/08 10:07 PM

I don't think that. Only thing that always bothered me were my soldiers (specifically 18yr olds), were always getting married to the first thing they saw, and caused a lot of problems


And that right there is another one of the arguments used to ban marriage to certain ranks... In order to protect the younger soldier from his/her own hormones

Redhat11's photo
Tue 01/22/08 10:09 PM

however the argument used, is that the lower ranks (the line differs with each person) should not be married and with kids as they do not make enough to truly support a family, and bs along those lines. It is thought that (generally speaking) anyone under the rank of E6 (for the army) is not capable of being responsible enough to raise a family along with doing what they have to do for the military.


As bad as it sounds, i've seen it happen before. E4's in debt thousands of dollars cause they have a wife and child and only make $1500 a month before taxes

no photo
Tue 01/22/08 10:11 PM
Its sad. Guys coming back after Dessert storm were killing there wives for infedelity. It actually made Msn and the papers like an epidemic with younger soldiers. I dont think its all the wives fault either. Just young marriage in the military Ive seen is a bad idea. My 2cents



Sure you should be able to hell this is america right ? but im leaning towards what kevin says these guys go off serve our country they come back and find out there fiance has been around the block three times and everyone knew except the army guy just a thought

littlebluebear22's photo
Tue 01/22/08 10:20 PM
I have lived near a Marine base my entire life.. I can honestly say I know a lot of marines that get married solely because they get additional money.. They call them contract marriages.. Pretty much the wife gets half of the additional money, plus health insurance and base privliges..

Scary thing is that the young marines don't realize what a terrible mistake they are making for their future.. There are so many problems that could arise if you don't trust your spouse.. for example.. If you are active duty and you marry someone who is not in the military they become your dependent and you their sponsor.. Well.. say they don't like going the speed limit on base, MP pulls them over and you get a ticket.. If that happens enough, or you don't attend the "court" session then you can lose all of *your* privliges of driving on base..

I even know another marine who married someone very young and ended up getting divorced and remarried.. However, when he did that he never took his first wife off his beneficiary list on the life insurance policy through the military and when he died over in Iraq his pregnant wife didn't get a penny.. The ex wife (who cheated on him during his 1st deployment) got everything.. Jacked up huh??


I should also touch on the fact that many people "believe" they are in love and get married too soon.. Eventually they exit that blissful state and realize they not only have nothing in common with this person but they don't really love them afterall.. Can really complicate matters further when there is a youngster in the picture or on the way..

So I don't really believe that you need to be a certain rank to get married in the military. I know plenty of SSgt's who are more immature then some PFC's.. Just depends on the person.. I do however believe that they should have to attend some kind of relationship counseling before entering into marriage. I'm sure that could help keep that divorce rate number from rising..

daniel48706's photo
Tue 01/22/08 10:32 PM
ahh the ole contractual marriage for the money and benefits... I know exactly what you are tlaking about. I had a couple friends who got married in order to move out of the barracks and into housing. they did not get the housing money cause they still lived on base, but they had a lot mroe freedoms than single soldiers (hmm a new topic about to be posted, lol).

Their marriage was a literal contract that went like this:

You date, sleep with, carry on with your life as if we were not married and I will do the same thing. We just live a a married couple while in the military in order to stay out of the barracks, and get more perks.

Well in the end, they were both discharged for sleeping with someone other than their spouse. BAd conduct discharge, loss of most benefits. And the state they were in they had to show just cause in order to get divorced, and the judge refused to divorce them.