Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375. Melt 1 cup margarine in saucepan. Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Billy "no, no." Add margarine to 2 cups sugar. Take shortening can awayfrom Billy and clean cupboards. Measure 1/3 cup cocoa. Take shortening can away from Billy again and bathe cat. Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained while removing shortening from cat's tail. Assemble 4 eggs, 2 tsp. vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups sifted flour. Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows for ventilation. Take telephone awayfrom Billy and assure party on the line the call was a mistake.
Call operator and attempt to have direct dialed call removed from bill. Measure 1 tsp. salt, 1/2 cup nuts and beat all ingredients well. Let cat out of refrigerator. Pour mixture into well-greased 9x13-inch pan. Bake 25 minutes. Rescue cat and take razor awayfrom Billy. Explain to kids that you have no ideaif shaved cats will sunburn. Throw cat outside while there's still time and he's still able to run away. FROSTING
Mix the following in saucepan:
1 cup sugar 1 oz unsweetened chocolate 1/4 cup margarine Take the f**king teddy bear out of the f**king broiler and throw it away -- far away. Answer the door and meekly explain to nice policeman that you didn't knowBilly had slipped out of the house and was heading for the street. Put Billy in playpen. Add 1/3 cup milk, dash of salt, and boil, stirring constantly for 2 minutes. Answer door and apologizeto neighbor for Billy having stuck a garden hose in man's front door mail slot. Promise to payfor ruined carpet. Tie Billy to clothesline. Remove burned brownies from oven.