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| Topic: 5 Things That Women $hould {Never Ever} Ask A Guy... | |
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The five questions are: "What are you thinking?" "Do you love  me?"
"Do I look fat?" "Do you think she is prettier than me?" "What would you do if I died?" What makes these questions so bad is that every one is guaranteed to explode  into a major argument and/or divorce if the man does not answer properly..
For example: 1."What are you thinking?" The proper answer to this question,of course is, "I'm sorry if I've been pensive,dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm,wonderful,caring, thoughtful,intelligent,beautiful woman you are and what a lucky guy I am to have met you." Obviously, this statement bears no resemblance whatsoever to what the guy was really thinking at the time, which was most likely one of five things: Baseball Football How fat you are How much prettier she is than you How he would spend the insurance money if you died The other questions also have only one right answer but many wrong answers: 2. "Do you love me?"
The correct answer to this question is,"Yes" For those guys who feel the need to be more elaborate, you may answer "Yes dear" Wrong answers include: I suppose so. Would it make you feel better if I said yes? That depends on what you mean by "love" .
Does it matter? Who, me? 3. "Do I look fat?" The correct male response to this question is to confidently and emphatically state, "No, of course not" and then quickly leave the room. Wrong answers include: I wouldn't call you fat,but I wouldn't call you thin either. Compared to what? A little extra weight looks good on you. I've seen fatter. Could you repeat the question?I was thinking about your insurance policy. 4. "Do you think she's prettier than me?" The "she" in the question could be an ex-girlfriend, a passer-by you were staring at so hard that you almost caused a traffic accident or an actress in a movie you just saw. In any case, the correct response is,"No, you are much prettier." Wrong answers include: Not prettier,just pretty in a different way. I don't know how one goes about rating such things. Yes,but I bet you have a better personality. Only in the sense that she's younger and thinner. Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about your insurance policy. 5. "What would you do if I died?" Correct answer: "Dearest love, in the event of your untimely demise, life would cease to have meaning for me and I would throw myself under the front tires of the first Domino's Pizza truck that came my way." "Dear,"said the wife."What would you do if I died?" "Why, dear, I would be extremely upset," said the husband."Why do you ask such a question?" "Would you remarry?" persevered the wife. "No, of course not,dear" said the husband. "Dont you like being married?" said the wife. "Of course I do, dear" he said. "Then why wouldn't you remarry?" "Alright," said the husband, "I'd remarry." "You would?" said the wife,looking vaguely hurt. "Yes" said the husband. "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"said the wife after a long pause. "Well yes, I suppose I would." replied the husband. "I see,"said the wife indignantly."And would you let her wear my old clothes? "I suppose,if she wanted to" said the husband. "Really," said the wife icily."And would you take down the pictures of me and replace them with pictures of her?" "Yes.I think that would be the correct thing to do." "Is that so?" said the wife,leaping to her feet."And I suppose you'd let her play with my golf clubs, too." "Of course not, dear,"said the husband."She's left-handed..." 
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The five questions are:
"What are you thinking?" A: How good you look when you wake up in the morning. "Do you loveme?" A: Do bees make honey? "Do I look fat?" A: No dear, infact, your a goddess. "Do you think she is prettier than me?" A: No, not at all, plus she probably has herpes. "What would you do if I died?" A: Throw a funeral. Duh |
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OMG I am laughing so hard I almost fell out of my seat!
Like your answers too Wonder
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I'd love to say that I'm speaking in behalf of all women everywhere BUT I WONT. But to my observation, we sometimes do tend to talk a lot and sometimes with out even thinking it thru. But this was a funny gesture. Just in case you get negative responses, to all lady-haters: There's nothing more boring than hating on a opinion made, life is too short so just enjoy it
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The five questions are: "What are you thinking?" A: How good you look when you wake up in the morning. "Do you loveme?" A: Do bees make honey? "Do I look fat?" A: No dear, infact, your a goddess. "Do you think she is prettier than me?" A: No, not at all, plus she probably has herpes. "What would you do if I died?" A: Throw a funeral. Duh I just really have to give you "BIG PLAYER" points & props, Wonderbread dude. 
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The five questions are: "What are you thinking?" A: How good you look when you wake up in the morning. "Do you loveme?" A: Do bees make honey? "Do I look fat?" A: No dear, infact, your a goddess. "Do you think she is prettier than me?" A: No, not at all, plus she probably has herpes. "What would you do if I died?" A: Throw a funeral. Duh I just really have to give you "BIG PLAYER" points & props, Wonderbread dude.
Big player points? So confused |
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I'm just applauding you for knowing what to say when asked.
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I'm just applauding you for knowing what to say when asked. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH it comes rather naturally |
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