* I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
* Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
* Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
* I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
* Bad cop! No doughnut!
* You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
* Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
* Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on Cops?
* So, uh, you on the take or what?
* Gee, Officer! That's terrific! The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
* Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
* What do you mean, "Have I been drinking? You're the trained specialist!"

LMFAO!!!!!!! Those are good...need to paste and copy and then print them out to send to ex.......