Paddy was walking through a town one day when he say a shop with a notice in the window. The notice said
"We sell everything".
Paddy could not believe this so he went inside. He walked to the counter and asked the salesperson,
"Do you really sell everything?"
The salesperson said
"Yes, everything".
Thinking this was too good to be true Paddy said
"OK then could I have a jumper for a chicken?". The salesperson said
"A jumper for a chicken?, hold on I will have to check the stock out the back".
Five minutes later, the salesperson returned with a brown paper bag.
"Here you go, one jumper for a chicken"
"How much?" asked Paddy.
"$7."
replied the salesperson.
"$7 for a jumper for a chicken - excellent."
said Paddy. So away he went as happy as larry. When he got outside he thought to himself that maybe he was done, so he looked inside the bag. At the bottom of the bag was a condom.
He was mad and stormed back into the shop. He screamed at the saleperson
"Hey, I asked you for a jumper for a chicken and you have given me a condom - whats going on?"
The salesperson replied,
"Sorry mate, I checked in the back and we seem to be all out of jumpers for chickens, all we had was a raincoat for a c*ck."

Lady went down to the shoe store to look for some new shoes.
The Salesman at the store measured her shoe size with A foot ruler and looked up and noticed she had no underwear on. Seizing the moment he said lady I could eat that full of ice cream. She got up and left the store furious. A couple hours later her husband got home and she began to tell him story and then wanted him go down and speak to the salesman about his manners.The Husband leaned back in his chair and said liten Honey . No.1 You got 3 closets full of shoes & you dont need anymore.No.2 You shouldn't be downtown without any underwear on , and no.3 anybody that can eat that much ice cream I'm not gonna mess with.