I am a single mother of one. She is eight years old. I split with her father four years ago. I split with him knowing that I tried everything to make the relationship work. Talking, counseling, compromsing, nothing worked. So I turned thirty and gave him the boot. My child was four and confused. The same year I decided to go back to college. Now even though I wanted to go I felt it was of utmost importance to discuss all of this with my four year old. I sat her down and told her about her father first in language she could understand. She asked will we get back together I told her the truth , NO I do not love your father anymore we are to different. Told her that we both love her though. I also told her that I would never keep her away from him. On the subject of school. I talked to her about it. I told her what I was thinking of doing, how it would affect her, and how it would better our lives. I listened to her concerns and then made my decision. She makes no decisions in my house but she is always a voice and consideration. I am now faced with a situation where there are better job offers in other states. Now it is true that I want to give her every thing possible but I made up my mind that I have to find a compromise. She is an only grandchild on his side and his only child. I do not love him but I would never want him to be hurt or my child either. I worry because if I stick to my guns we will have less but becuase I stick to my guns she will have more emotionally because she has her mother who loves, respects, and is toltally honest with her, her daddy and her grandparents. Just like to get other parents thoughts

Araka

That is a tough decision. I do not envy you with this one.

I think alot would depend on how many hours the Dad would have to drive or fly to see your child. I know children that have a parent that live out-of-state. They seem to accept it.

Your situation sounds very similar to mine. I was faced with a decision almost exactly like that. I had an offer to be a store manager about two hours away from where I live now, I would've made alot more money than what I make now, but I decided to keep my son around his whole family. Plus my son is alot younger than your daughter. I think it's great that you explain things so she will understand the situation that sounds alot like me, I wish you the best for you and your daughter.