Okay, I am an aspiring artist/songwriter and I need opinions on the rough draft of this song--hit me up and tell me what you think. I would greatly appreciate it.


A Sample Love Song

Verse One:
you know me better than I know myself
complete me better than anyone else
you got me sprung
got me higher than anything
drugs don’t compare to the essence of you
everything you do, you burn it up
you touching me is playing with fire
yet you’re my only desire
I don’t need anything if I have you
my man, my baby
you are everything to me
don’t need people
we can make it without them
just keep filling my system
keep me inspired
keep our passion fired
no one can put out our flame
since we got together, the world aint been the same

Hook:
I can’t get enough of you
your kiss, your lips
got me obsessing
my heart stressing
beating for you
it’s crazy, but baby for you
there’s no limit to what I’d do
this is a sample love song
without you, me and life wouldn’t get along
it would be so empty
without you with me
just a space full of air
without my baby there
so don’t take your love away
assure me that you’re here to stay

Verse 2:
do you see how my mind is set on you
do you see how I’m uncoordinated in all I do
off-balance
cuz of your romance
do you hear how my heart beats
when I anticipate your body on me
touching me
caressing me so slowly
rocking my body turning me on,
pouring out some patrone
can’t remember who I was before
I’m just so addicted to you
in love with all the things you do
how your touch carries me through
money and friends don’t matter to me
just as long as you keep on loving me

--Hook--

Verse 3:
Baby you’re just so fine
I like how you keep me in line
sometimes with you I feel so weak
so in awe, that I can’t speak
amazed to be with a man like you
how I managed it, I have no clue
you’re so great, and I’m so small
in your presence I’m nothing at all
I love you with all my heart
without you I’d fall apart
dangerously connected to you
everyday falling deeper and deeper
body struggling to keep her
the girl you stole
the girl you swept off her feet
but there’s no return
cause I’ll always belong to you

Bridge:
Your love’s got me pinned against the wall
your name is my uttered call
baby you’ve got me powerless
cause your swagger and body is so flawless
the way you rock me is so melodic
your kiss and touch so hypnotic
you’ve got me losing control
can’t you hear the moaning in my soul
no one else can top us
and it’s solely because
what we have is real
the feelings we share, no one else can feel
no one else can possibly find
another man quite like mine
you can’t take your love away from me
cuz I need it so desperately

Great lyrics girl. i think for a rough draft it really really good.
i'll watch for this song in the charts

Nice job...i think verse 2 and the bridge are the strongest parts for sure. Although, my favorite line comes from the hook: "without you, me and life wouldn’t get along ". Catchy.

Thank you!! I only wish for it to hit the charts...

awesome