My girlfriend and I broke up last night. I feel so horrible after what happened. The thing is, I like her, I love her but.....I'm not in love with her. I felt like it wouldn't be fair if I held on to her without having that love that she needs and deserves. It was the HARDEST thing I have ever done. I've never done anything like that before. I feel like SUCH a horrible person..... I so feel out of control right now and feel like I don't deserve happiness. Why do I feel this way and why did I have to feel like I do. It would've been just easier to stay in love with her so I wouldn't have had to do that horrible thing I did. Sometimes I wonder why love can go away like that. It's wrong, it really is. When one person feels one way and one person another. It's NOT fair at all. Can you guys and gals maybe help me out on this one. I sure could use some advice from all of you.

Well, I've had a couple of men fall "out of love" with me and that's something I will never understand since there is no true closure. (I'm the kind of person who wants to work on myself if there was a problem, but if the person won't tell you what was wrong, you can't fix it). In your case, at least you were honest with her, which means a lot. It's better that she move on and find someone who will truly love her.

You did the right thing before things went any further, maybe you can just be friends and who knows what will happen from there...friends first usually works best....time will only heal sweetie!!! Good luck..

It sucks now but you will be happy in the end. It ends up hurting alot more if you stay with her just because you dont want to hurt her. Ben there, done that, want fun.

dude - you'll feel alot worse when she's in the arms of another guy- so the best thing you can do to save your sanity is to make up....you gotta have some degree of love , otherwise you to wouldnt be dating for so long.....besides- ex'es can get pretty vengeful when with another person.....and making up is alot better than planting 5 knuckles in his forehead because of what she might say about you....

Some people fall out of love with their partners it cannot be helped,your not a bad person and personally i think you did the right thing.You deserve happiness just like everyone else and she will find someone who will love her just as much as you did.
You feel bad because you obviously didn't want to hurt her but no one can stay in a relationship if they are not in love. she will get over the hurt eventually.Just remember you did what you had to do and what you thought was best. good luck in your search

It sucks a lot but you did what you had to do... If not now, it would have happened further on down the road. I can already tell you are not a horrible person, because of how bad you feel. You can't make yourself be in love with anyone.

Not such a good idea. You shouldnt keep a woman around just because you dont want to see her with antoher guy. Again, that makes everyone miserable. And as long as your not a jealous freak, you should do just fine. If both parties arent happy, then its doom to fail eventually. And the longer you wait, the harder it will become.

And if she finds out your just dragging her along because you dont want to see her with another man then you are in for some trouble.

I really appreciate everyone's input, yes even yours googoomuck. She's such a great person inside and out and she would never do anything to hurt me and save face for her. If she got with another guy I KNOW she wouldn't say bad things about me. I can't stop crying, my stomach feels like it's going to explode. I don't know what to do. I've never done anything like this before and it REALLY, REALLY SUCKS!!!! Thanks for your help as I will hold this advice close to my heart.......

I'm not a jealous freak and I hope she does find happiness....if she was with another guy tomorrow, I would be proud of her and wish her the best. I'm not a horrible guy. Very sensitive and strong kind of guy. I DO wish her the best and I'll even help her along the way if she ever asked.....

was she needy and crying all the time for no reason? did she have more problems than a country western lyric? - was she trying to be like a mom?.....
if she was cool and you two got along, try to patch things up.

honestly- the above paragraph was from a lesson i learnedabout being careful what you wish for- all year i wanted to enjoy some good time with an equally good girl....found one on this site, and now im happy to say that it's better to stay single and date alot, rather than hook up with someone you'd want to strangle with a pilolow by sunup....

again- if youre having second thoughts- break up in a good way, and things might change.....or stay single and not have the worry of some psychotic paxil chick invade your happiness....

My formerly exBF and I went round and round like this. We both thought we were no longer "in love" just that we loved each other as best friends and always would.

It took 2 months of being without each other til he wrote one day and we started talking again. Him admitting the ache inside, me being willing to see if there is any hope.

We are like Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson .. just can't quit each other.

Give it a few babe .. you never know. The separation may be what you need to clear your head and realize what she really means to you. That's what happened in our case, and he wasn't even the one to leave, it was me.

sending you a big hug

It sounds to me like you met her and liked her, loved her but just never fell in love with her, right? Well in this case, you are correct to free her to do what she wants or needs to do in her life. You will be rewarded for this action, no matter how badly you feel now. Her next love will probably love her like she needs and you will probably be in love with your next love. Just work through it, keep yourself busy and leave her alone. You will feel better with time.

If you can say this about her, then you were not in love with her and you did the right thing. Time will help tho. Once you realize you can't make yourself love someone. It really isn't your fault. You would have been a jerk if you would have stayed... let her go and be happy

It sucks. Sorry to hear you are hurting. I had the same thing happen to me recently. The best thing to do, you are already doing. You are reaching out to others and not isolating yourself. You need to try to be good to yourself right now and love yourself realizing it was an act of love not only for you but for her. If you both would have stayed together your pain would have only increased in the end. Make sure to do alot of things that make you feel good about yourself right now, be with friends.

btw- youre quite welcome, dude- this is coming from experience....any guy on the panal would agree that gals suddenly develop a case of amnesia when with someone else- and in some relationships an unhappy man is a happy woman...and looking at you, youre not hopeless at all....depending on what the fight entaled- make the right decision...if she was a needy, creepy, let-me-effing-stare-at-you-all-day-with-that-thousand-yard-marine-glare-cause-youre-sooo-cute kind of gal, move on and be ALOT more selective in your dating process...
if she was warm, friendly, baggage-free and always had a good spot for you, i say patch things up
if one of her fat meddling friends planted bad info about you, hunt her down with a hammer- (just kidding ) ,,,actually, have him or her mind their business...