I long for days before this ****. the endless validation we seek, to feel some connection. But in the end you're just looking at screen.

But it doesn't matter I guess.

To be real honest here. I found out that I have late stage Heart Failure. I was having AFib issues brought on by stress. next time with genetics heart function is only at 15 20%. shortened my life expectancy till about 5 years I could probably push it more but who knows.

I don't care about people's perception of who I am cuz I'm know that. I know at the end of the day I'm still a man still feels and wants love in their life regardless of the challenges they face


regardless of an unknown unknown now, still try still live. but it doesn't make it hard to know how to even start with people it seems most just want to run away