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Community > Jokes & Funny Stories

Topic: Pre-Mammogram Exercises for Jitters
uk1971 Joined Tue 04/10/07 Posts: 22015	Tue 01/01/08 03:53 PM
Exercise One Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut the door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough. Exercise Two Visit your garage at 3 a.m. when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect Take off all of your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until the breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast. Exercise Three Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again. You are totally prepared!

Urg04es Joined Sun 12/02/07 Posts: 1411	Tue 01/01/08 03:57 PM
Buddy-if only you knew how true these statements are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sassyma Joined Wed 09/19/07 Posts: 1139	Tue 01/01/08 04:00 PM
true in so many ways

ladyblack67 Joined Mon 06/11/07 Posts: 2404	Tue 01/01/08 04:03 PM
thats SOOO true! I hate those infernal machines.

sassyma Joined Wed 09/19/07 Posts: 1139	Tue 01/01/08 04:14 PM
thats SOOO true! I hate those infernal machines. especially when they are squeezing the crap out of you and here dont move and stand flat...

Katertots37 Joined Sat 05/19/07 Posts: 18137	Tue 01/01/08 04:36 PM
Buddy-if only you knew how true these statements are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'd like to know how Tom knows all this

uk1971 Joined Tue 04/10/07 Posts: 22015	Tue 01/01/08 04:40 PM
Buddy-if only you knew how true these statements are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'd like to know how Tom knows all this Gotta keep abreast of things Kate

Katertots37 Joined Sat 05/19/07 Posts: 18137	Tue 01/01/08 04:41 PM
But wouldn't it hurt worse for a man?? Or is there something you aren't telling us Tom??

uk1971 Joined Tue 04/10/07 Posts: 22015	Tue 01/01/08 04:51 PM
But wouldn't it hurt worse for a man?? Or is there something you aren't telling us Tom?? Nah. Things may go tits up.

Katertots37 Joined Sat 05/19/07 Posts: 18137	Tue 01/01/08 04:55 PM
But wouldn't it hurt worse for a man?? Or is there something you aren't telling us Tom?? Nah. Things may go tits up.

uk1971 Joined Tue 04/10/07 Posts: 22015	Tue 01/01/08 09:08 PM
Maybe I boobed when I posted this.

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