anyone have any tried and true methods on learning to trust another again after being played to the nth degree??

if they do i hope they share...it's hard for me to trust a man as in a relationship way after what i've gone through this year.

I hear ya!!!!!!!!!! I mean trust women in my case To be honest, I am scared of women now...

i will talk to them as a friend but as that person for me..no..i have problems trusting them.

I have been trying for months now, and it seems to go well but then maybe something seems wrong, or even the smallest thing will upset you. they said there doing this, you know, but they were so able to lie to you before, whats changed? people can forgive yet never forget and that will always cause problems. I am young i know this but i already feel that all the girls out there are ****ing liars and want to **** everybody. so the prospects of my future being lonely are very high.

Bro listen. Once a cheater always a cheater. Try as you may to believe you can change someone. You cant. Let it go and try again. There are too many good girls out there to waste time trying to fix the bad ones. Same for the guys as well

good reply, yet do you ever get that feeling in the next relashionship that your afraid of that pain again so much that you protect yourself with sex. you were cheated on and then you become the cheater.

Ive felt the urge. Like i shouldn't care, no one else does etc. But i know better. Id hate myself if thats what i became. There are plenty of good ones out there, you just have to find them.

The only words of wisdom I have is give it time. Time to deal with your hurt and anger and then, when you do meet someone, take your time in the relationship, don't jump in head first. But, don't give up on trust either, just keep reminding yourself that not everyone will do that to you. Whatever you do, though, wait to get involved until you're sure you've fully dealt with your feelings. It's not fair to you or anyone else to take past relationships out on another person.

I agree!!!!!

Suzin I like your remarks and comments, you know alot, maybe you have been hurt alot. its good to help those you can with what wisdom you have.

Jay, thank you. Of course I've had my heart broken, who hasn't I just have never allowed myself to get stuck in it. I don't regret any relationship I've ever had, if nothing else, I learned from it and while they may have ended, badly or otherwise, they were good while they were good. I try not to live a life of regret. I cannot change the past, only the present and the future.

Maybe you are trusting too soon. Trust is an investment. Try thinking of trust as money. Would you trust someone with your wallet as soon as you meet them? Trust grows over time.

We learn to trust slowly. We have to trust some people, for it is a blind faith thing. Man is not meant to live totally alone. We are a social society where our hearts & minds tell us; "Everyone can not be an abusive, untrustworthy azz."
We all have been hurt/used & it might happen again. We just have to keep the faith.

Agree wholeheartedly with SuzinVA, it does take time to recover from a betrayal of trust/failed relationship.

quote" I cannot change the past, only the present and the future"

I believe that is a key point, in letting go of past hurts and being able to move into the present and begin to have a positive outlook on what the future may hold.

its hard for me to trust wot a person says on the internet cus ive been burned to many times

All I have to say about it is ,,TRUST is something that is earned and not a givin, I myself have a hard time trusting exspecialy when things just dont add up, When you have had alot of drama in your life it makes it hard to move on, but you have to get up and dust yourself off and go again,

Like cooking,I have burnt my fingers doint it, but it was always my fault. Have to remember to be careful.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.
Finley Peter Dunne

I was married over 23 years and never so much as kissed another woman. my ex tried to keep me broke, busy working on my house, and would not have friends (couples) if she thought that I might find the woman attractive. I realized that I could not even talk to half the people in the world for fear of retribution. I am generally easy going and compromised myself into a corner that I could not get out of. I asked myself what will the next 20 or so years bring after trying so hard to stay out of any situation that might be considered a potential problem.
You can't prop up another person forever and sacrifice yourself.