CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles. The sales girl
notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for
a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few
minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on
the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your
wife? He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the
store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper. So, I figure
if I have to roll my own .......... so does she. (I figure this guy is the one
on the milk carton!)

could be

THE FUNERAL IS THURSDAY.

You all might be too young to remember this guy:

Red Skelton's recipe for the perfect marriage.

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California, and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere...
But she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversay. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6.My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, 'In the lake.'
7. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.
8. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, 'Am I too late for the garbage? The driver said, 'No, jump in!'
9. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
10. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
11. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.
12. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, 'What's on tv?'
I said, 'Dust!'.

gotta love red skelton.......

quarrylife ur right he is the one on the milk carton