My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last:

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food and good companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida and mine is in Wisconsin

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. \"Somewhere I haven\'t been in a long time!\" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said, \"There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!\" So I bought her an electric chair.

My wife told me the car wasn\'t running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, she told me, \"In the lake.\"

She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

Remember.... Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. Statistically, 100% of all divorces started with marriage.

I married Miss Right. I just didn\'t know her first name was Always.

I haven\'t spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don\'t like to interrupt her.

The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, \"What\'s on the TV?\"... I said, \'Dust!\"

In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

Why do men die before their wives? Cause they want to.

A beggar walked up to my wife shopping on Canal Street and said \"I haven\'t eaten anything in four days.\" She looked at him and said, \"I wish I had your willpower.

Great stuff!!!

I very much enjoyed reading. Thanks for sharing. I got a few giggles out of it