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Topic: Broken Trust
68chevy's photo
Mon 12/24/07 02:50 PM
Edited by 68chevy on Mon 12/24/07 02:57 PM
When someone lies, steals, and, cheats in a relationship is there ever anyway to fix all the problems and rebuild the trust that was there before all of it happened? Do any of you believe theses sort of issue's could ever be resolved?

no photo
Mon 12/24/07 02:56 PM
Sure, I guess it's possible if both people are committed to doing so. But, it's gonna take a lot of work, probably a lot of counseling and a lot of time. My ex and I had similar problems, I wanted to work them out, we did the whole counseling thing but the problem was, he wasn't committed to the process. Because he wasn't and couldn't or wouldn't (a) accept responsibility and (b) do any work to fix it, we couldn't work it out. But, I do know couples who have done it. What they've told me is that you have to expect that the relationship will never be the same as it once was, it will be different. Eventually, it may even be better but there's no going back. Good luck in whatever you decide to do flowerforyou

miked0002's photo
Mon 12/24/07 02:57 PM
no because all those things are going to be in the back of your mind. you will find yourself questioning her everytime she tells you where she's been and who she's been with

Mossop's photo
Mon 12/24/07 02:57 PM
Sorry to say...I think not ! One Black spot maybe yes But not Three.

rodfcutler's photo
Mon 12/24/07 02:58 PM
No chance.Because there will ALWAYS be a measure of ditrust there,no matter how much time it takes.The other will be prone to make the same mistake over and over.one broken,it is gone for good!

blondguy42's photo
Mon 12/24/07 03:00 PM
The lies and steals can be corrected, by having the person ort persons, tell the truth, the steals, well the person or persons who stole can return the goods or wares they stole to the store or the owner, an say, I am sorry, Now if someone cheats in a relationship, to me, there is no turning back to recover, once the cheating is done, its done , theres no turning back, you live with what uve done, tryign to correct cheating, maybe it can be done, maybe not, It all depends on the individuals. Can we forgive or not??????................

Dragoness's photo
Mon 12/24/07 03:05 PM
It is one of the hardest things to do, only complete honesty and time to rebuild the trust. That is if it can happen at all.

68chevy's photo
Mon 12/24/07 03:16 PM
Seems like the ladies think maybe.
While the guys say no.
Odds are not very good seems like to me.

no photo
Mon 12/24/07 03:20 PM
I wonder why that is, that women are more willing to work out issues in a relationship, if possible, instead of just chucking everything you've worked for, put your heart, soul and sweat into, out the door? And, I also wonder, if it was the man who did the cheating whether or not the answers would be the same? flowerforyou flowerforyou

68chevy's photo
Mon 12/24/07 03:25 PM
You know I have wondered that same thing and really wonder if things would be different if turned around.

no photo
Mon 12/24/07 03:31 PM
my only question to this is if the person really cared about you why would they do any of the three much less all three. Is there really room to work with there. I know its a big trust issue but i would look more at it being a big lack of concern for you on their part.

wendynhouston's photo
Mon 12/24/07 03:35 PM
It would take a lot of work and committment to rebuild the trust you had for the person. My ex lied to me and we tried three other times to make it work but it didn't. I would be willing to try but he better show that he's just as willing to work on the relationship.

68chevy's photo
Mon 12/24/07 03:39 PM
Don't want to go into much detail on here but the 3 things are tied together....stealing and lies...covering up credit cards I knew nothing about, then the cheating because I was about to find out about them and knew she was about to be asked to leave my house....she had nowhere else to go.

rob11's photo
Mon 12/24/07 03:45 PM

When someone lies, steals, and, cheats in a relationship is there ever anyway to fix all the problems and rebuild the trust that was there before all of it happened? Do any of you believe theses sort of issue's could ever be resolved?

Unfortunately stealing usually points to a dependency problem of some type. Most times it's money or something they can pawn for money to buy drugs. Fortunately that can be cured if the person is willing and a doctor's care is involved.

Lying and cheating is something I don't know very much about but I do know that the person again has to be willing to change.
Being apart will never solve anything if you are trying to save a relationship.

Just my opinion.

68chevy's photo
Mon 12/24/07 03:56 PM
Thanks all, guess it is one of those issues I will have to try to figure out myself...I was hoping for more people jumping in so I could get a better cross-section, but again Thanks to all. happy

Puffins1958's photo
Mon 12/24/07 04:03 PM
I hate to say it...but NO

Lying, stealing and cheating are 3 very strong negative things to have to deal with. One is bad enough, but not 3 of them.

noway noway noway noway

no photo
Mon 12/24/07 04:04 PM
No. There's obviously a history of problems and only that person could fix them by themselves.

RICKG1961's photo
Mon 12/24/07 04:14 PM
i'm sorry but i have to say hell no
they did it one time, they most likely
will do it again.. i say no more chance's

68chevy's photo
Mon 12/24/07 04:33 PM
I wished it was that easy, in all my years I never felt what I felt with this person. We seems to connect on so many levels. We didn't disagree about hardly anything. I really thought this was my last...I thought I have found my soulmate till the day one of us died. So that is why I guess I am having a hard time letting go of what to me was the best thing in my life. You know what is messed up? All of the things I enjoyed she enjoyed too..so we did them together, so now I cannot even enjoy the things I used before we met, if I try to she is right there beside me in my mind.

Drew07_2's photo
Mon 12/24/07 05:08 PM
I read once (cannot remember where) the following:

"Any good relationship is worth fighting to save. But if all you do is spend time fighting to save it, maybe it's not really a good relationship."

-Drew

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