I could use a little help, I am not much of a talker all of the time and i am having a hard time getting past the first date any one have any advice.

YEAH I GOT NOTHING

What is it you feel about talking? I mean there are a lot of men that just don't hold value in conversations and it's not to be rude it's just the way they are...

It's not that don't hold any value to conversations i just have a hard time finding something to talk about with some one i just met.

Talk about something you feel passionate about. It will be easier that way.

conversation is the most important thing you can do on a date; at least for me cause i like to talk. but if you aren't much of a conversationist, then try doing activities where you don't have to talk much.

Does she not say anything interesting that maybe you could elaborate on ? Maybe you are a better listener. Or maybe you could just jabber about things she is interested in , even if it is not interesting. But if there are awkward moments of silence maybe you just do not click but have patience , when you find the right one you will be blurbing out all kinds of stupid stuff , thats the way it goes . Good luck !

ask her, books, movies, favorite flowers, if you take her out to dinner fav food

Start out about the weather if you like. As some one else posted, movies, tv shows even favorite flowers etc etc etc.

I follow the old saying: "Everyone's favorite topic of conversation is themselves."

I love getting to know as much as possible about a new person; and if they're comfortable with you, most people are more than willing to open up.

The key is to be a good and attentive listener.

Women often don't feel that men take their thoughts and opinions seriously; I can't tell you the number of times I've been told "You're the first guy who ever really listened to me."

And I do really listen.

And the majority of my friends are women.

That's what I got from studying psychology for seven years!

I don't have any problem listing to women in fact most of my friends are women too and that's the way it always seem to work out we just become good friends and then i become the shoulder to cry on when the next guy messes with them.

It has been said that the best conversationalists are those who know how to ask the right questions. I think that is quite true. I am not always at ease in new situations. I cover it by getting someone else to talk about themselves.
When your interest is first sparked, I would think it might be more than just her pic or looks. Start by committing her profile to memory, especially the things that piqued your interest to start with. Then move on to emailing her and asking about things she said in her profile. By the time you get ready to meet you will have lots of "ammo" for the first date. Then re read the emails. Plan questions in advance to ask about, or comment on the things you have in common. That should get the ball rolling. Respond to the things she says or writes with your own anecdotes and questions. It's really not that hard.
I have worked with the public for years, had to schmooze with the blue hairs and Junior league-ers and VIP's. Had to speak in public for my work. My little tricks have saved me so very many times. And if she finds out you rehearsed and researched, she should be flattered you were interested enough to spend the time and effort to do so.
Good luck, and have fun. That's what it is supposed to be about

hi I love a good conversation. start out light and watch for the rabbit trails to take and be in touch with yourself as to what you think about the subject you embark on and verblize what you feel and think about it. If you feel uneasy talking, find ways to practice in other than a date situation till you feel e z with your self expressing your thoughts to others. After all it is an exchange of thoughts, beliefs and feelings isn't it?

All good advice, now all i need to work on is my shyness

Shyness, don't know that you ever overcome it, you just have to work it.
I used to be terrified of putting my foot in my mouth. I do it all the time and it usually gets a laugh, so now I just go with it.

I mean if you ever accidentally asked a guy in the grocery store parking lot to "jack you off" instead of "jump you off" when you battery was dead...
Well you can live down anything.

shyness? or fear of rejection or humiliation??? being able to open yourself up emotionally is the key to self-confidence, which is the key to the ladies...just start w/baby steps and before you know it you'll be off and running...and having to beat us away w/a stick

Here's one of many things that separates a great pickup artist from the rest:

While the average chump is on a date talking about himself and only hearing what she has to say about about herself, the pickup artist is at first building comfort by easing into the conversation by talking about other people. Then, when the ball is rolling, he is telling her about herself.

This is a great art of social dynamics to get into. Check out my thread "Pickup Artist Secrets Revealed!"

wth??? talking about other people??? Like Lindsey Lohan or Jaimie spears???? Im confused here.....

if u talk about things outside of the current situation, it eases off any pressure she might feel in regards to actually being in the current situation lol
girls get nervous on dates, too, u know

Ok but not other people......thats gossiping!!! Talking about other "things" may be a better way of putting it.....like the weather, or the state of the defecit, or even the fact that Lindsey lohan may be a lesbian but since were not friends we can talk about her....