CAPS mainly used to replace UNDERLINING and sometimes ITALICS
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If she had been looking for one, the only clue Ursula could ever have found, to anything even faintly relating to what now confronted her, was the interest Ben showed in her appearance and her reactions. As their friendship had become more intimate, this did not wane as she would have expected. He would often ask her how she had ‘felt about such-and-such’, and, unlike other men, had put out a special effort to try to understand her interpretation of events rather than popping them into the “oh well, you-know-women!” file. Also he neither instantly dropped his eyes to women’s breasts when introduced to them, nor craned his neck to spy on what lay beyond their ever-beckoning thighs.

While acknowledging certain irreconcilable differences between women and men, Ben considered the female perspective to be the healthier on the whole. In Ursula’s view, this marked him as more of a REAL man than the average swaggerer. Yet nothing in his conduct during those years offered her any hint of his possessing this fantastic notion: ‘to become her’.

“Do you mean….stop being you?”
“Yes: and no.”
“YES AND NO?! That’s all I need.”

Ursula was the least likely person to become hysterical; but this tragicomic broadside from the man she loved, had thrown her wholly off balance. In the days following his shattering announcement, she tried to learn how he could have arrived at such a state of mind. She loved him with all her heart of course, but surely being with him and their sharing a life together, would be sufficient. The idea of BECOMING him, was, even at this delicate moment, just about laughable. More, it was broaching the domain of ‘science-fiction’ or certainly a world of utter fantasy.

He had contended that his love for her was so intense that he wanted to bury himself in her to the extent of losing sight of himself altogether. He wished to be possessed - in a way, anihilated - by her. Was he suicidal? Was this merely a macabre joke he was playing; a game, a ploy of some kind? But if so, to what end?

Something must have happened to him; possibly before they had met. An accident. A death. A horribly protracted illness in his family. Or on the other hand, was it merely, (MERELY?!!!), that he wanted a sex-change? Or, (perhaps less drastic), could he be a ‘closet homosexual’?

She had known one or two ‘queers’, (as they often jocosely referred to themselves), a couple of years earlier on, and she was struck by their comparatively greater appreciation of the female view of things. (“But,” as one had put to her, “while I’m just as decent an individual as anyone else, I can become very vengeful when running with the pack”.)

Ursula now began to wonder if she was actually in danger.
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(part 4 follows)

Reminder:

[ITCHY MEMORIES are all based on REAL events and people. These short tales are specifically presented on the MINGLE2 COMMUNITY forum. They include:
MEXICO, TOPPED, STIFFED, BOOMERANGED, DUPED, LYNCHED, WRONG-FOOTED, PRETRAYED, WORDZERKED, DE-RAILED, HOARDED, OVERSTAYED, TWINNED.]
...so far...