The Overseas Investors’ Association - yes, punctuated with a distinctive apostrophe - was comfortably established in Berne, Switzerland. A corpulent little fellow named Freddie Canefield was its creator and managing director.

Almost everyone in the company was North American, but a token Swiss could be located here and there on the premises. The boss had a Chinese girlfriend, Suen Liu, who took care of the filing. A giant Californian, (his passion, a certain species of shrubs), was his second in command.

The graph was going sedately up, and what with the intense concentration of salesmen doing their paperwork on the premises, all was tranquil. The one visible activity from the boss himself, seemed to be at the photocopier; and the only time there was ever any form of disturbance was when everyone, without exception, cheered.

They did so when a salesman had come back to the office with “A Century”. This meant that one of them had ‘made a sale’ of one hundred thousand dollars - or over. Every such event was energetically oohed and aahed for a few minutes, and then, with heads soundly down, all carried on as before.

The filing backlog was becoming unmanageable, so they took on an office assistant who had previously been working at one of the ‘internationals’, Philip by name; an enterprising youngster who made short work of the rather haphazard filing system. This had piled up partly owing to Sien Liu’s predilection for coming in rather late in the day - sometimes at around 3.p.m.

Philip, (henceforth to be known as Phil.....of course!), was soon regarded as an asset by the group, and he was officially promoted to Filing Manager. This pleased him, but being Sien Liu’s boss did not. He knew he had better not count on any assistance from her, even though one of the salesmen had advised him that ‘Freddie would be happy’ if Philip got her to work more, and also to arrive when everyone else did.

He made the effort, (embarrassed that she was both his boss’s lady, and had been around a lot longer than he), but it was no go. He reasoned, he reproved, he remonstrated: but Sien Liu was a river. To make your point, you had to leap in at precisely THE right spot while she was in full flow; otherwise you missed your chance.

Inspired by his popularity, Philip created a company magazine. Cutting, pasting, and photocopying everything - verses, article extracts, and all sorts of tidbits, (for so long as they more or less related to the business at hand), his weekly issue thrived, and was warmly acclaimed. He then became adventurous enough to concoct a cover for it.

For a while he had noticed something however, that made him uneasy: Freddie, (who smiled always at everyone), wasn’t smiling at Philip these days. This was confirmed in the week that followed; and Philip now knew it wasn’t his imagination. As to why this would be so, (the boss was still dispensing his customary smile to everyone else), he thought he should try to find out.

A couple of days later, he had totted things up. His conclusions forced him to make the decision to leave the company - perhaps quickly.

He quit. The problem either had to be Sien Liu’s much more open friendliness towards him of late, or, (although less likely), what he had left in the photocopier ready for printing, while on his coffee break. It was to be used as his cover.

But no; surely: I mean…..what’s so extraordinary about a quarter-inch thick, cross section of a cabbage?

Oh well, perhaps it was both.
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Reminder:

[ITCHY MEMORIES are all based on REAL events and people. These short tales are specifically presented on the MINGLE2 COMMUNITY forum. They include:
MEXICO, TOPPED, STIFFED, BOOMERANGED, DUPED, LYNCHED, WRONG-FOOTED, PRETRAYED, WORDZERKED, DE-RAILED, HOARDED, OVERSTAYED, TWINNED.]
...so far...