What struck him most about working at a funeral home, was how very jolly the employees and management generally were. He witnessed more jokes cracked and pranks played, than at any school he could remember. In fact he would have still thought himself in a classroom when he saw the amount of surreptitious note-passing between members of staff. He came across a screwed up scrap of one just below his chair once. He unravelled it. It read; “Let’s spike her coffee!”

Yes, their cheeriness was truly catching. He had first arrived there strongly doubting that he would be able to stand very much of ‘working with death’; but when he’d been there for a couple of weeks, the ‘death factor’ seemed somewhat incidental. Any bodies he got glimpses of, were either smiling or at least pretty well off.

Although he was mostly doing paperwork, they had assured him that if all went well, he would, one day, be taking part in funeral services. He was a bit on the tall side for coffin-carrying, but he needn’t worry; there would be plenty of other action for him. So, yes, he would get to wear the top-hat eventually!

He’d had quite a few jobs before, but none with anything like such a bubbling ambience. He went to work everyday never knowing what amusing or even hilarious exchanges there would be between them, whatever their relative positions.

Mark Twain said, “the only way of dying of natural causes, is not to visit a doctor.” Well, our hero thought he would now try out his own wit, in keeping with the overall atmosphere in this friendly workplace. He typed it out at his desk to see how it would look.

“Be at peace, and then make a good impression on others, while enjoying perfect serenity and security. Get yourself buried!” He rubbed his hands: that should do it. Even better; he drew a tombstone, then printed the words out.

Now, what to do with it. He supposed he could stick it up somewhere for all to see. The question was, where? While he was considering his choices, he heard “lunch” being called out by one of his colleagues. Off he went.

He had almost forgotten about it by the time he got back to his typewriter; but when he did, it had gone. He searched all around, but no note. He heard someone calling his name. It was the boss who at that moment was waving a piece of paper in his direction, chuckling, and beckoning him over. Wow! This was going to be fun.

The boss was still laughing as he handed over an envelope. “Great stuff,” he said. “Really funny. You know, a fellow with your sort of talent will have absolutely no difficulty in finding a job. Terrific luck; and I really mean that.”

H’m. Maybe a doctor wouldn’t have found Mark Twain funny either.
_____________________________

Reminder:

[ITCHY MEMORIES are all based on REAL events and people. These short tales are specifically presented on the MINGLE2 COMMUNITY forum. They include:
MEXICO, TOPPED, STIFFED, BOOMERANGED, DUPED, LYNCHED, WRONG-FOOTED, PRETRAYED, WORDZERKED, DE-RAILED, HOARDED, OVERSTAYED, TWINNED.]
...so far..