A Preacher & A Pilot

A preacher dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this cool guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"

The guy replies, "I'm Peter the Pilot, retired Delta Airlines Pilot from Miami."

Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the pilot, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom."

The pilot goes into Heaven with his robe and staff.
Next it's the preacher's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's in Pasadena for the last 43 years."

Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the preacher, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom."
"Just a minute," says the preacher. "that man was a pilot and he gets a silken robe and golden staff, and I get only cotton and wood? How can this be?"

"Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter, "while you preached, people slept. While he flew, people prayed.

----------------------------------------------------------------
Fighters are fun but… (For you info F-16 is a fighter jet, C-130 is a slow big cargo airplane)

A C-130 was en route to a mission when a cocky F-16 pilot flew up next to him. The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, "Watch this!"

He went into a barrel roll, followed by a steep climb, then finished with a sonic boom when he reached the speed of sound. The F-16 pilot asked the C-130 pilot what he thought. The C-130 pilot responded "that was impressive, but watch this."

The C-130 droned along for about 15 minutes then the 130 pilot came back on and said "What did you think about that?"

The 16 pilot asked, "What the Hell did you do?"

The C-130 pilot responded "I got up, stretched my legs, and went to the back poured a cup of coffee and took a ****."

----------------------------------------------------------------
Why airplanes are better than wives:

Airplanes have strict weight and balance requirements.

Airplanes don’t care how many airplanes you have flown.

Airplanes don’t mind if you look at other airplanes or buy airplane magazines.

Airplanes are cheaper in the long run.

Airplanes can be turned on with the flick of a switch.

Airplanes will kill you quick… women take their time.

Airplanes come with manuals.

Airplanes won’t get mad if you fly your friend’s airplane.

Airplanes don’t care if you're late.

Airplanes don’t make you wear a rain coat before entering.