Two cows in a field one says mooooooo! his mate
replies "aw i was just going to say that"


A dog goes into a fish and chip shop and says
"Can I have a job please?"
The shop owner says
"My god a talking dog! why don't you join a circus?"
the dog replies
"What would the circus want with a plumber?"


Why do lions always eat raw meat?
Because they don't know how to cook.

What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea?
It gets wet.

How can you drop an egg four feet without breaking it?
Drop it from five feet. It won't break during the first four feet.

What is "out of bounds"?
An exhausted kangaroo!

Have you ever seen a duchess?
Yes - it's the same as an English "s"!


Whats red and flies and wobbles at the same time?
A jelly copter!

Why did the sword swallower swallow an umbrella?
He wanted to put something away for a rainy day!



What did the blonde say when she opened a box of cheerios?
Oh look! Donut seeds!


Q: What do winnie the pooh and Attila the hun have in common?
A: They have the same middle name!



What's brown and sticky?
A stick.


Did you hear that all the toilets at the police station were stolen?
The cops got nothing to go on.


What do you use a wombat for?
Playing wom.

Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other "do you know how to drive this thing?"

What do you call a double-jointed epileptic?
A transformer.


Q. What do you call a man with a spade in his head?
A. Doug.


Q. How to you burn a blonde's ear without being in the same room?
A. Phone her up while she's ironing!

good ones

This one is a triple-groaner. I'm going to have to relay it to my father. Thanks!

good ones.. HAHA!