1. can an atheist get insurance against acts of G-d?
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
3. atheism is a "non-prophet" organization! (i like that one)
4. if a man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
5. the main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the "naughty" girls live.
6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "where's the self help section?" she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
7. what if there were no hypothetical questions?
8. If a deaf kid swears, does his mom wash his hands with soap?
9. if someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
10. is there another word for...synonym?
11. where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"
12. what do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
13. if a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? ha
14. would a fly without wings be called a walk?
15 why do they lock gas station bathrooms? are they afraid someone will break in and clean them?

16. if a turtle doesnt have a shell is it homeless or naked?
17. can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
18. if the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
19. why do they put braille on drive thru bank atms
20. how do they get deer to cross the road at those yellow road signs.
21. what was the best thing before sliced bread?
22. one nice thing about egotists, at least they dont talk about other people.
23. does the little mermaid wear an alge-bra? he he
24. doe infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultary?
25. how is it possible to have a civil war?
26. if one synchronized swimmmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
27. if you ate both pasta and anitpasto, would you have really eaten anything?
28. if you try to fail and succeed. which have you done?

Steven Wright is hilarious.. Thanks I've missed his stuff...