As much as I love this site, and despite all the great people I've met here, the one massive flaw in the equation is that I have had zero luck with anything involving anyone who lives anywhere near me.

And I've done the research, and there are hundreds, maybe thousands of JSHers, around the Chicago area. I used to try to write to some of the new local people I saw fluttering through the "New Matches" section of my home page, but no one ever wrote back, so I stopped.

But it seems to me, given my current situation, that the one thing which could really help right now, would be to make some new local friends. I'm not talking about dating, or relationships -- I'm done with those. After this last debacle, I'm sure I will never be able to trust anyone in that way again, and I've been eviscerated one too many times to even consider taking that kind of risk again.

But, since about age 15, my friends have tended to be predominantly female. I get along with girls better (so long as it never goes past the friend stage), and I'm trying to figure out a way to meet someone in my area.

Unfortunately, there is no way I can do this in real life. The area I'm living in is extremely unfriendly (I've lived here 2 years and have met no one), has a reputation for 2 things (overwhelming drug use and inbreeding), and I'm stuck here until next summer.

I used to meet people through friends, but this is no longer feasible.

A close friend in a nearby town told me that, in order to meet someone here, I would have to go to a bar or a church. I don't drink, and I'm an atheist, so these are not good options.

So I guess it all boils down to finding a website where there would be some local people who are actually willing to talk and look at the possibility of making new friends.

Clearly, that is never going to happen here. The locals don't respond to e-mails, and they don't participate in the forums, so that pretty much eliminates any chance of communicating.

So, if anyone knows of a website which has Chicago/Illinois/Indiana people who are more open and friendly than the ones here, drop me a line. I'm not asking for you to post the name of the site here -- that would technically be a violation of site rules -- but I'm pretty sure it's OK to send this information in an e-mail.

And I'm not talking about leaving JSH -- there are lots of reasons for me to stick around. I'm just looking for some nearby people who might be more receptive than the ones here.

(((( Lex ))))))

I love you and wish you all the happiness in the world,,, I have no answers for you just lotsa hugs and know that one day she will find, see and hear your soul,,,,

Whether you think you are right or you think you are wrong, you are right.

Lex...

What Denise said....DITTO!!!!

After seeing too many braggers on this site, which turns me off (although I'm glad for others, without a doubt), I've started going to other sites, myself, to see if there are any people close to where I live, as well. There's no one on this site in northern Ohio/lower Michigan and I don't anticipate there will be in the future. My philosophy is if I go to at least a dozen sites, eventually there has to be someone in this area.

i haven't even got someone to write me mail on this site. my pink jacket i thought was a total winner

Lex, considering your other post with this one. I ask you to see this as a matter of choice. You; like me; keep people at a distance & cannot allow them to really get close. You have VERY deep feelings for a lady, that are not returnable, at this time. As long as you feel like this, you will never find happiness in another. I have had to face that & it was a great burden off my shoulders, when I did. I ask you to think on this & if you want to chat more, let's do it in mail.

All just my thoughts & opinion.

Kid -- It really isn't that hard to get "known" here -- I always tell everyone to post in the forums, let people get to know you. It takes awhile to get "established," but once you have a recognizable persona, people will be more willing to communicate.

I get all kinds of e-mail here -- mostly from people who saw something I wrote in one of the forums, sometimes about my profile, whatever -- and that's great, it's just that it's all from people who are 897,000 miles away.

So now, all I'm trying to do is open up some dialogue with someone a little closer. I don't think that's possible on this site, for reasons I can't decipher, but I have to believe there must be a site somewhere that has some locals who are actually willing to talk and be friends....

BTW, there's absolutely nothing wrong with the pink jacket....

(((( Sage ))) words spoken so true and from the heart,,, from one incredible wise man to another,,,, Hugs to you

(((( Lex ))))) as complex as life is,,, listen to your soul it will lead the way,,, Peace and calm will one day rest in your heart,,

Sage -- I'm not looking for happiness in another, though, anymore -- tried that, it didn't work -- not saying I'm glad about it, but it's a reality, and I can't change it.

I would just like to find some friends in the area, that's all. I mean, I have learned my lesson. I don't need the piano to fall on my head for the 93rd time.

My "relationship" days are officially over. But I'd still like to find someone to talk with and maybe hang out with once in awhile.

In psychology, they would call it "aversion therapy." Takes a little time, but it sinks in after awhile.

Even rats learn that, if you get a shock every time you press the red button, maybe it's a good idea not to press the red button anymore.

(((((Lex))))) I wish I knew of a site for you...Good Luck to you!!...And am also very happy your not leaving JSH...I enjoy reading your posts, your thoughts, inputs...

Wishing you well...

I don't know what to say.. other then to reflect on my own experiences.

The other site I'm a part of.. has a handful of people that live near me on it, compared to this one. Letting distance or any other artificial boundary limit my ability to befriend people was something I never really considered. So, I spent some time flying off or driving to some far flung places. Regardless of the outcome. I found that alone to be an adventure worth experiencing.

You could say that my lifestyle is different then yours and therefore I can pull it off when you are not able, I suppose.. That might be a valid statement too.. However, my lifestyle is really pretty average. I simply looked for or made the opportunities, and the ones I met did the same.

Time and money was/ is a challenge ~ of course.. but that is all.. Just a challenge.

This site has a plethora of people that live close, compared to the other. Many are probably in walking distance. We could shop at the same stores, hang out in the same coffee shops, eat at the same restaurants... I could have actually been in their office working on their computer network last week. Who knows?

Again... I don't limit myself artificially. The world is already a small place without making it smaller. So, no.. Although I'm not actively looking for anything at all.. I will not rule out anything either. I don't advertise any minimal standards or expectations either. Simply because my life is full of friends and relationships I never would have guessed would have happened. I've found commonality in people whom I thought had nothing in common with me.

In my short time here... I have engaged people that could be living in the building across my street... and people that live on different continents with the same veracity and relative transparency. In that... I've struck some beginning friendships. Both local and far flung. I'm sure, without doubt... that at some point, I will walk across the street, catch a plane across the country or out of the country... Get in my car and drive across town or head down the interstate... Maybe open my home to relative strangers... and no matter how close or how far.. it will be an adventure worth experiencing.

I've no idea if what I wrote addresses your challenges or not. I hope you got something out of it, and discard anything you didn't relate to.