(note: If you're a patriotic American and can't stand satire, don't read on.)

A bloke walks into a cafe in London, orders a jam sandwich, sits down and reads his newspaper. An American tourist then walks in, orders something, and sits down in front of the bloke, at his table. Bored, he looks around, notices the jam sandwich, and decides to use that to start a conversation:

"You british eat jam, huh?" he asks. The bloke lowers his newspaper, responds with "That's right", and continues to read.

"Ahhh. We don't." Said the American, sensing the opportunity to crack a joke. "we americans, we only eat fresh fruit, we save the pips in a container, recycle the pips into jam, and ship it off to Britain!" he laughs, admiring his own joke.

The bloke ignores him, so the american tries again:

"You brits eat the crusts on your bread too?" he asks.
"Yes. It's good for you." The bloke responds.
"Ahh. We don't. We americans, we only eat the soft bits, save the crusts, put them into a container, process them into croissants, and ship them off to Britain!"

By this time, the bloke was getting pissed off, so he decided to retaliate with a joke of his own. He puts down his paper, and leans forward, as if to share a secret with the American.

"Tell me... you Americans have sex?"
The American laughs. "Of course we do!"
The bloke continues. "And what do you do with the condoms after?"
The american shrugs. "Throw 'em away."
A smile comes across the bloke's face. "We don't. We british save them, put them into a container, process them into chewing gum, and ship them off to America. Why do you think they call it 'Wrigley's'?"