I got this in an email from a friend


I turned forty in August, and I've just realized my warranty has expired. In fact, I never knew I had a warranty until it ran out. I figure I must've been covered for 100,000 miles or forty years, whichever came first.

You know how everything on your car starts to break down as soon as it's no longer covered under warranty? Well, same with me. I started having so much trouble with my menstrual cycle, I wanted to trade it in on a Hover Round®. I think those Rice Krispies® guys have taken up residence in my joints because every time I move I hear from either Snap, Crackle or Pop.

Strange beings from other planets began landing on my face during the night as I slept and planting little flags in tribute to their homelands. They must've worked at night because I'd go to bed with clear skin and wake up with a new surprise when I looked in the mirror. I visited the dermatologist who chuckled at my plight, told me I have "mature skin," and gave me a prescription for azelaic acid. I went home and applied the acid. It was like an atomic missile on the extra-terrestrials. At least, it burned like fire on my face. I had to fan myself and resist the urge to dunk my head in a sink full of cold water.

But, good news! The information sheet said the burning would cease in about two weeks...which is around the time that the acid ate through all the little "flags." I simply have to stay on the alert for visits from other aliens, acid at the ready.

I have to report, however, that eczema does not respond to azelaic acid and might even make it worse; but telling your physician you gave it a try will horrify him and make his eyes bug out like Ricky Ricardo's. The doctor was disconcerted by my new self-medicating routine: "Put acid on it and see what happens."

More good news, though! Eczema is not an age-related malady. On the other hand, irritable impatience could be considered as such.

My husband turned forty this year, too. Although studies indicate women live longer than men, he appears to be pretty much still under warranty. I'll keep you posted.

very funny