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Topic: Separation
Toodygirl5's photo
Mon 04/30/18 01:25 PM
Edited by Toodygirl5 on Mon 04/30/18 01:43 PM
I dated my Ex husband 3 yrs off and on, after our divorce. I was In love!!

He's a great date! But not committed husband in marriage.

He is on 4th marriage. He has no promblems getting a date. He is handsome, charming and will spend his money on her.

We ended friends from . a distance bigsmile I had no desire to remarry an Adulter and abuser.

no photo
Mon 04/30/18 01:35 PM



Thanks MrBee. I still don't want to get involved with someone who is married.

Same here


With all my respect .. it's your choice of course, ladies .. but it might also become your problem .. life's too short for playing those waiting and searching games .. your best days may become over some day .. cos the clock keeps ticking ..
Also, if you keep looking for divorced and widowed men .. or not ever married, your chances to find someone are half the size, if you've decided to cut off all the separated guys.
So, if you're still interested in getting the best results in your search, compromises should be considered, imho.





I think we all screw ourselves one way or the other. Me for example, I just really don't want to date women with kids. No matter the age of the kids. It's mainly because of the experiences I've had with situations like this. I have nothing against children as a whole. I have two of my own. I may be screwing myself because being that way will keep me from many potential mates. But that's where I'm comfortable. If I wind up alone because of that, I'm OK with it.

Well, it's about the same when it comes to dating people who are separated with no divorce in site. Many people have had bad experiences or know someone who has had a bad experience with someone that was only separated. Somebody got hurt, badly. So they shy away from ever getting involved in something like that again.

And there are some others that believe that as long as you are separated, but still married, they are committing adultery by being with you. It doesn't matter if you've been separated 5 min or 15 years. You're still married. They are committing adultery.

So, they shy away. They may wind up alone because of it. The way I think about it, I don't have to live with anyone but myself. I'm sure there are others, men, and women who think about it that way. There are some things in life, for some people, that their just isn't any room for compromise.

Mag8308's photo
Mon 04/30/18 02:51 PM
Edited by Mag8308 on Mon 04/30/18 02:53 PM



Couples should wait 4 years before getting married.
That would save the divorce to just breaking up. laugh


They should! I urge all new engaged couples (especially the young ones) to do premarital counseling. I wish I had known about it before I got married


Marriage counseling does not always work. People change over time. And sometimes that change is not always a good thing. And it is possible the two are no longer compatable. Imo.


It's still better than rushing into things. With the excitement of everything being 'new' and then the excitement of planning, some people really don't get to know the nitty gritty of the other person.
It should have to be a process. Getting married is one of the easiest things to do (not the wedding part, mind you. Just the getting married, 5 min in a court house is all it takes) and one of the easiest things to get rid of. Yes, it can take forever to get divorced but now a days you have all these states that have 'no fault divorce' it's B.S.
People change spouses as easily as socks!

Mag8308's photo
Mon 04/30/18 02:54 PM

I can compromise, but not in that way. Separated is legally still married. And sometimes someone who is separated ends up getting back together with their spouse.

I understand some reasons for still being separated & not yet divorced. Things happen. But dating someone who's still married isn't for me.


Amen!

no photo
Mon 04/30/18 03:23 PM




I didn’t know that about Scotland. Four years seems harsh. If the person you want to date is aware and okay with dating a man awaiting his divorce, then it’s up to you. Do you have misgivings based on religion or your family objections? Or are you getting the cold shoulder for it when you try to date?


Misgivings? As in the ex in-laws just hated me because I was different, and the ex wife jumping on the bandwagon?

I just hope, the person I want to date, gives me a fair chance, since I feel such a lot for her and she means everything to me.


It stinks that her family didn’t like you. But what I meant was, are you hesitant to start dating while you wait for your divorce? Lol! It sounds like you’ve already met someone, so I think I know the answer. If she loves you, she will wait.


Dunno if she loves me, since she always said, she won't date a separated guy. But she also knows, I have strong feelings for her. So only time will tell. But if there was love on both sides one day, I would be the happiest person on Earth :smile:

If you care for this lady, you could be in for a long wait. I hope things work out for you.

Larsi666 😽's photo
Mon 04/30/18 04:08 PM

Anybody and everybody deserves to be given the chance to prove something whatever situation they are in. The only problem would be if it’s necessary and worth it. I for one wont try to prove myself as a good person coz I feel that if another person thinks im not, it doesn’t matter anymore. Now with regards to separated men and laws id rather not comment lol :angel:


Maybe 'prove' is the wrong word? If you listen to your heart, you might know already, if his feelings for you are genuine :angel:

Anyway, I kinda know, why you won't give any further comments :angel:

Larsi666 😽's photo
Mon 04/30/18 04:16 PM


Separation



I would never date someone 'separated' because I have seen where people I know have separated, and after living fancy free and dating others for a time, only to get back together again. It cannot have been good for the people they were dating to see them go back to their spouse. I would not want that happening to me, so my dates need to be single or divorced, and free to marry if that is what we both wanted.




I would never go back to my ex, that's for sure. It would be like committing suicide for me grumble

Besides, why should I lie in my profile? I was always, and will always be honest to the woman of my choice, rather than hiding stuff from her.


Larsi666 😽's photo
Mon 04/30/18 04:20 PM

Ireland has many stupid laws I think they are trying to catch up with the rest of the world but this will take a long time. The church still has a hold on things. And as you know the church is very powerful


Indeed. They just changed the law, and you only have to wait for 2 years now. But it doesn't affect me, since I got married before 2016 tears

Anyway, the law states, you have to be separated 4/5 years, and after one year, you can get an interim thing called judicial separation, in which terms and conditions are negotiated, such as maintenance.

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