My favorite thing was the DOT check points set up in the middle of the night out in the middle of the Navajo reservation in the winter!! Big Fat Indians just asking for medical cards & drivers lic. & of course checking the mud flaps for road kill splatter so they could charge ya for a dead horse or cow!!

the best one yet is that fat sonuvabiotch on 80 in ohio, Joe the weighmaster

And yes I don't have the chrome, or the lights. But I've got a custom built horn set on my truck that will wake the dead. The loudest hornset out there. 162 decibles. The little horn is tuned to D sharp and the big horn is tuned to F major. Its louder than those truckstop trainhorns so don't go there. If a car is beside me all those decibles are aimed right at them. So if your kids are in the backseat as they go by motioning me to blow my horn well let's just say after 15 years of idiot drivers I find sick and twisted pleasure in slowly reaching up to those rubber nuts attatched to my horn chain and pulling it down and shaking my truck and draining my air tanks and scaring the living sh!t out of people and watching them drive off the road. My horn has been featured on 3 syndicated radio talk shows. Its morbid.

you mounted that lot lizard from W. Memphis under your hood ??????

Ha ha ha ha! No but I was peeing between the duals one night there and that prostitute came up behind me and asked me if I needed any help. I laughed so hard I peed all over my shoes.

One sunday night I got down to lake station early. It was a slow night for the hookers. They gotta pay the bills too y know. So I'm sleepin and the prostitutes start shakin my truck yellin "give it up driver, give it up!" I got scared! I didn't have my gun. Forgot my knife on the kitchen table at home. Forgot to charge my battery on my cellphone. I was a sitting duck! The prostitutes are shakin my truck and screamin give it up driver cmon! I'm scared to death! I didn't know what to do! Thought I was a goner! So I used my head. I threw out a rick james cd and escaped in all the confusion. Super freak! Super freak! She's superfreaaaakkkaaa!

And that my freinds is how rick james saved my life.

But my hornset on my truck? Picture this: a full blown DOT inspection. Behind the scalehouse. Book n brakes. Under the hood. All your lights and turn signals. Then checks your fire extinguisher and triangles. Then makes you start it up and do the brake leak and warning buzzer test. Then he asks you to test your horn. "I'm sorry officer, I didn't hear you. What did you say?" (its aimed at his head) "I said could you test your horn please." "uh it works." "yes but I have to hear it, test your horn please." (louder than a jet engine or rock concert aimed at his head) "why it would be my pleasure officer." and I basically blow him off my truck cursing and screaming. Haven't had one crap his pants but I'm working on it.

I just can't go around tooting my horn. My boss says the next time I pull up to the fuel pumps and blow that horn directly into his office he's going to come out and rip it out of my truck with his bare hands and smash em flat with a sledgehammer. Personally I've never seen a man jump so high in my life. He looked pretty serious. Its morbid.

A couple years back they had the steam horn whistle off the titantic. An epic event. They cleaned it up and restored it. It has not been fired off since the sinking of the great ship. This was the first time it was going to be sounded off since then. Crazy brian and I were curious to what the titantics steam whistle sounded like and which was going to be louder, the steam whistle or my truck horns. Basically we were again asking for trouble. So we drove the truck up there. It was cool. They fired off that big ass steam whistle off the titanic long and hard in downtown st. Paul and it echoed. To me personally it affected me and many of the thousands there to witness it. That loud droning A major sent chills up your spine thinking and knowing it was the death knell of all those who last heard it and perished in that tragic disaster. We were up on the highlands overlooking everybody and had a birds eye view and great echo tones for everything. So we gave a couple of minutes of silence then popped off ole squeeky till the air tanks went dry. Brian looked at me and said "oh yeh, way f***ing louder than the titanics horn!" I said "cool! Let's get out of here before we get a noise ordinance ticket."

Its morbid. So they were talking on the radio about the titanics steam whistle and then people that were there started calling in about the a**hole with the really, really loud horn. I'm going down the road laughing realizing that they're talkin about me. So I called in and tooted my horn so to speak. Noone likes a weenie horn on a truck!

Bbwwwwwaaaaahhhh!!!!!!