It's not just ACCEPTING who you are. It's accepting then loving yourself for who you are. That's called confidence. Those who flaunt their egos are compensating for a lack of true confidence.

My "question" is more of a situational dilemma. I have a notion that some/many modern women are suffering from an identity crisis. There still exists the idea that men are supposed to be the pursuers in romantic settings. I get the impression, though, that many women want to exercise their empowerment not by being pursuers themselves, but by being ungracious toward men who pursue them. Now, I will grant that many men are not gentleman about romantic pursuit. They lash out ungraciously when rejected (I am not immune to this tendency.) Nonetheless, I see a correlation between men behaving like cowards in "the pursuit" and women being unkind toward men in whom they are not interested.

Hmmmm...'modern women'....does that translate to free thinking women, who for all sakes in this conversation have adopted the less attractive qualities of men?

'Empowerment'....interesting word...to be empowered is to get out from under oppression...wonder where the oppression may have originated?


I see a societal 'flip'...from the less attractive traits, once thought to be masculine, now adopted by women...and those that prefer the 'old' ways, finding they have no bearings with which to guide them..in the courting, dating, attraction world.

Simply put, the differences are not so different anymore, and the sooner people open themselves to the comparative similarities, and move away from the projected differences, of gender, the sooner the world will find balance.

I think that the differences are greater than you think. More often than not, I observe women taking the passive role in the earliest stages of attraction and dating.

Perhaps I am unattractive or I project an unappealing personality, but I doubt that is the case. Nonetheless, only a tiny fraction of the few contacts that I make are initiated by the woman. (I will concede that the personality that I DO project might be more attractive to a traditional woman than to a progressive one.)

To me, though, I take this as an indication that many women still expect men to take the active role in initiating and pursuing a romantic relationship. I find it unpleasant, therefore, when my attempts at initiation and pursuit are not treated graciously. I try to embody, to the best of my ability, only the admirable traits associated with masculinity. I do not think that it is unreasonable, therefore, to expect responses that reflect the admirable traits of femininity. (Note: I don't always expect a positive response - only a polite one.)

While I do not pretend to speak for all women, I respectfully disagree with you, Jess.

Without stark differences between the basic characteristics of men and women, we morph into a bland, monotone oneness. That is not something I wish upon any society.

Differences do not make one lesser and one greater, rather, simply different, which is exciting and worthy of exploration. Danger lies in attatching a "rating system" or blanket generalizations of what is exclusively masculine or feminine.

RESPECT any person as an individual and ACCEPT without judgement.

Gotta go with Whispersandwinks on this one....viva la difference!

RESPECT any person as an individual and ACCEPT without judgement.




I agree fully with that statement.