Now Im an effing genius!!!

an evil effing genius, but we love you anyway!!!

Today has the potential of being depressing. Whoa girl that broke my heart last night. She calls me up says she wants me to "do her". Gets quite descriptive of her demands and how she expects me to act and how many times and what positions she desires. So I drive 30 miles and I walk in and her psycho exboyfreind who dropped by unexpectedly is sitting on the couch and she's giving me terrified "don't say anything" looks. Yeh you got that right freinds. I couldn't resist. So I said to her "Hey, howsit goin? You called me up here talkin all dirty wanting me to do you hard and wet n stuff. So you like ready to get it on? I'm like ready to screw you silly but I see your ex dropped by unexpectedly. What is he gonna watch us or what? I mean you know I'm an exhibiionist and stuff and really don't mind but by the look on his face I don't think he likes me too much. And ya know the feelings kinda mutual after that night he punched you and gave you that big black eye that I had to drive a top sirloin steak up and nursemaid it and let you cry on my shoulder all night long. So are we gonna get it on or what?" Her shoulders just slumped and she just looked at the floor totally busted. I said "well nice knowin you its over have a nice life uh lose my number will ya."

It WILL get better, it has to.



At least that's what they tell meand they are right.
(whoever they are)

omg that really happened biker?????

btw......I havent been evil all day..........yet!!!

But I love shopping!

LHB.... that sucks! what was that girl thinking?

hey biker........LETS GO SHOPPING!!! LETS BUY SOME SHOES!!!!

What I would/ve dpone is probably ask the lady if she wanted the scumbag out and if she did i would've tossed him out. She did look scared. If that happened to any lady i was with and sghe looked frightened of the guy I'd go into protective mode and deal with the problem.

Yeh it did. The funniest part is her father walked up behind me (perfect timing for a unexpected visit) with a beer in his hand and heard everything I said. As I left his eyes were watering from all the laughter he was holding back. But he high fived me on the way out and said "why don't you marry my daughter and square her away?" I said "because she's nuts." then he laughed hard as I left.

Don't really have a reply to that.

I'm starting to think I was being used as a sex toy and a crying post for a crazy chick who likes to break up and get back together over and over with an abusive boyfreind. And she will call. And I will hang up. Uh now that I've figured this out. Had suspicions but now I know for sure. And the ex boyfreind was looking all bad like he was going to kill me until I explained about the blackeye incident outloud. Then he looked at her father like oh no I'm dead. Gee didn't you tell your dad you fell or something? Ooops didn't mean to drop so many bombs and ruin all these secrets and lies. I just laugh it off.

can't believe i'm reading this

Just another day in the life of lonhgairbiker. You women freaking scare me.

I'm starting to like the fact that I'm old and creepy!

how old are ya, biker

So anyone else want my advice? I've gots lots to give!

I'm 42 but I'm constantly told I'm a creepy old man and that I'm ugly by todays youth on here. Did we tell oldsters that when we were 18? I thought we knew everything but kept it to ourselves.

But when I'm doin somethin way cool those 18 year old boys n girls sure wanna be my freinds. Hmmm I don't get it.