Rules for the Evil World Dominating Genius (from my blog)

When i build my doomsday device there will be no singular fatal flaw, if there must be one, it will certainly not appear on any blueprint and there will not be a canyon leading directly to the unshielded weak spot.

My doomsday device will also have a backup battery so that any interruption to the power grid will not delay my thirst for destruction. No more thwarting my evil intentions with a simple tug on a power cord.

The countdown timer for the doomsday device will be set to go off at 3 seconds remaining instead of 0. Every would be hero procrastinates and ****s around till the timer is at 1 because they are simply drama queens, trust me, they're just guessing at that point, if they knew what the **** they were doing they'd cut the right wire waaay before letting the timer get that low.

The item that is my singular weakness will not be hidden on some mountain top or in a cave surrounded by lava. Evil monsters are notoriously bad at protecting items of high value. Would you ever consider leaving the deed to your home in a dragon's den, I don't think so. Those items will be kept in a safety deposit box in an undisclosed financial institution where it can be safeguarded and insured by the federal reserve bank thank you very much.

Every henchman will be required to take a 6 month course at an accredited academy for marksmanship in addition to a full vision screening. At the end of which, there will be a sharpshooting final exam and only those who pass will be hired for the position. I'm sick of having 80 guys shooting everything in the room and missing my nemesis.

Any cavernous pit like structure in my fortress will have a handrail. Firstly, I believe that it is against zoning board regulations to not have them, and I do not wish to be fined by my township. Secondly I'm sick of my henchmen being pushed into those pits by my aforementioned nemesis.

Henchmen will be treated well so as to avoid any mutiny. They will recieve decent pay, a health plan which includes dental and vision, henching life insurance (since the life of an evil henchmen seems to be fraught with danger), a 401K plan and incentives like time and a half for overtime terrorizing or weekend pillaging..

I will not safeguard a room by using a bunch of rotating lasers that one can flip and tumble through looking all bad ass while cool techno music is playing in the background. Bunch of damn show offs. There will be a solid wall of laser alarms.

When I capture would be heros I will not try to get all creative with my methods of termination. There will be no unneccessarily slow dipping mechanism (as with Dr.Evil), no agonizingly time consuming moving lasers or swinging pendulums. I will simply shoot them in the head with a gun.

Learning a lesson from the movie Ultraviolet, which I was watching last night. When I am about to trap my nemesis, I will not have my henchmen completely surround that person in a circle when they are using firearms. It just doesn't strike me as a very good idea.

The armor that I give my evil soldiers will actually be functional and not just worn to look cool. No longer will my "storm troopers" be knocked silly by ewoks weilding such advanced weaponry as the mighty hand thrown rock while deflecting plasma blasts at the same time.

If my weakness is as lame as water causing me to melt, I should consider kicking my own sorry ass since the world is about 75% water and the human body consists largely of something that is toxic to me. I will also not keep buckets of the stuff around the fortress, yeah it's a dirty ass place but I keep hordes of flying monkeys...did you expect it to be clean?

No more wet dank fortresses fashioned like skulls and ominious figures. It's too easy to figure out: Hey I wonder where the evil genius lives, it's either the small quaint townhouse, the modern contemporary condo or the smoking skull cave surrounded by lava...hmmm. Also damp areas lead to mold and I can't be much of an evil villian if I sucumb to a mold induced lung infection and die. Even without these negatives, do you know how s***** the resale value of a smoking skull cavern is, you can't sell it, the mortage is killing me and the property tax borders on obscene. I tried to rent out a few rooms to some college graduate students but they kept complaining that the winged monkeys wouldn't stop humping their legs....get over it, it's a show of affection, jeez..

Also, make sure that in your doomsday device, you should use nothing but red wires..everybody knows you always cut the red one.

LOL that was cute

Thanks Important tips here--
No red wires, and no chatting Just do it! most important i think is the dank mold i agree,,, get's my sinuses going and how menacing can you be with your nose sniffing and eyes watering.
good message