what do you do when after 16 year with someone you love so much takes of
becuse she sead that she see's us going no where in life and takes ever
thang you own and your kid to the pont where you just set and cry and
would like to jump off the world it herts so bad to where you just do
not even like geting up to where it is you need to move in with mom and
dad at 43 years old now you till me what the hill do you do even after 3
mounth it stll hearts like it just happen today

I need more from you in order to give my opinion. Like, how do you feel
about yourself? What do YOU feel really led up to this happening and
WHAT is it about what she said to you that is on your mind THE MOST?
Sounds silly, trust me though k. I have to tell you, this is more about
you right now, not the "what happened," so if you want to discuss it
here, cool, if not you can email me. You're really at an impass that
isn't humorous at all, I recognize all the signs of depression here and
I know that alot of the regulars here will be more than helpful to your
needs. Just disregard the idiots. You'll spot 'em soon. Take care.
Hope to hear from you soon.

Well I can tell you what I would do cause at one time I had to go
through something similar.
I examined what my part in the failed relationship was and decided to
grow and improve myself.
Then I took the bull by the horns and rebuilt my life which made me feel
stronger and self sufficent
Then I started doing the things I enjoyed doing and I didnt worry about
"a relationship".
In time you will find that WANTING someone is very differnt then
NEEDING someone and its healthy too.

ac'hiiimmmm...."Chukee" I think I know what this man is going thru...
SIR,,,Pick yourself up by th boot straps,if she is gone for good you
need to move on,do not dwell in this,as it will consume you,and only
you,,,stay with it if you have a job,
if no job,get hobby,
I collect artwork,write poems,take pictures,,,
do what ever,but just do......something,
don't just sit there feeling sorry,
going thur all th mixed up,
fucked up emotions,that you have right now,,,
go take a karate class,
to learn to find your"CHI"
your inner streingth,th "TRUE" you,
regain your balance in your life,
and learn that you can do this without her...

or....beg her to take you back to.....?

Tyeinvegas,
Remember, time heals all wounds. Right now you have to focus on getting
yourself together. Forgive me for just a moment. I'm just going to give
you something to think about. She pointed out that the relationship is
going nowhere. She leaves you move in with mom & dad don't you think she
has a bit of a point. Basically, what I'm trying to tell you is to get
your life back together and prove her wrong not just for her but for
yourself... You can do it....

Tyeinvegas. hi, man I know what that feeling of pain is and I to came
out of a 16 year marrage.
Mine did'nt leave me SHE just decided to go to bed with another
and I came home to it? I did'nt won't us to end but YOU at least
had her TELL-YOU what it was before leaving you.
Mine had to SHOW ME how ti kill my heart?
You will never get over that hurt and love, BUT you can and must
keep going on,FOR YOUR CHILD SAKE.
You said its been three months, just keep putting your pants on everyday
the same way and LIVE each day knowing that your child WILL come to
understand that YOUR wife was WRONG?
I swear it to ya. And if you need a friend, like chuckee above here or
myself, anytime, you email me, as soon as I read it I'LL get right back
to you, I work 3rd, any other time I'll be here for ya. This place
here is full of good people and your here because like all of us, you
want to feel-better about life?
So talk with others here and keep your mind busy on here and meeting new
friends. How old is you child?

Have you checked into counseling? There are good counselors out there
who can help you get things sorted out too, and there are
antidepressants that can help with the pain. You are off to a good
start by reaching out for help and not hurting yourself. I agree with
what everyone has told you already. Keep going to work and stay busy,
and rebuild your life. It will get easier with time. Maintain your
relationship with your child. Try to keep your life as normal as you
can, whatever that may be now, but keep busy doing something. A lot of
us have been right where you are and have started over and it will get
better with time, the thing is to keep moving and not allow yourself to
just sit and dwell on things. You can rebuild your life and it will be
better than what you had before. Take care of yourself and e-mail if
you want to talk anytime. There are a lot of good people out here who
care about you.

Ah yes!

The infamous starting over dilemma.

It seems like the end of the world.

I like what a comedian said. " I want to right a book called. The Little
Engine that Said, FUCK IT!" LOL.

Laughter usually does it for me.
What better way to rejuvenate the soul then a good hardy laugh.
Kind of takes your mind off your troubles in a way. You see troubles are
only an obstacle in your path. It takes patience to see though the
insanity of it all. Then when your finally ready to take on the
challenge, you don't feel helpless about it.

Take care friend.
and laugh it off.


Ghostrecon

well said "Ghost",,well said...M.

This may be wrong but what worked for me was to get angry. I decded if
all else failed I'd show him what the hell he gave up. I moved on with
my life and shoved it in his face. I was not gonna let him see me cry
for any reason. After a while i realized that that the anger had faded
and he didn't really matter that much anymore. Like I said it may be
wrong but hatred can be a good motivation

yes,,,"ICE" as long as there is no violence,
and to move on as quickly as you can...
get over the lost love,or ex wife...
not the child,
nor the child within...
and get on with life,
on another path.............M.

Well said Micheal.

please tell me you ain't gonna start blowin' in my ear?...lol...

just pickin' on you man!....M.

Sorry to hear about your trouble Tye. But you got to realize that she is
gone now. Obviously the vows she took didn't mean the same to her as
they did to you. How typically "Sin City") right? (I'm from Needles) You
are probably lucky this happened now while you are still relatively
young. You are extremely lucky that you didn't walk into something like
that other fellow did!! Just believe me when I tell you that you WILL
find another woman more deserving of you. For now, concentrate on the
relationship between you and your kid. THAT'S the relationship you want
to hold on to. Time DOES heal all wounds, and it will heal yours too.
Hang in there guy!!! Consider this.... What would you tell your child if
this happened to him/her??

Hey,Tye. I was where you are a year ago. I know the feeling of wanting
to jump from the highest peak and never have to feel the pain and
betrayal again. I know how it makes one feel like a fraction of a person
and how it shatters ones self esteem. I know how it feels when the way
you have always assumed the rest of your life will be ends up being
anything but. Ya look at the years spent with that person and think
"what a waste"! It took me six months just to stop asking "why"?. It has
been over a year now and I am on my feet again. It does get better. I
promise you that. It does get better, it will get better and the best
thing you can do is stand tall and be there for your child, for one, and
for yourself for the other. Make yourself find something to enjoy or
appreciate about life. *The best revenge is living well*, *That which
does not destroy us can only make us stronger*, some of my favorites.

Hey tyeinvegas,
It's easy to say what you need to do but it is harder to do. I was with
mine 17 years and got divorced 2 years ago. Beleive this, time heals. I
never did the hate thing and still love my ex today. But I have moved on
and what did it is time.