Topic: so i wrote a poem, that i would like critiqued...
hantastic's photo
Tue 11/13/07 12:34 AM
now that the deforrestation of my heart is complete.

i am ready to accept a new seedling of passion, joy and commitment.

may it blossom into a giant oak of strength and care. shall it shield me from sin and loniliness

as the days go by whilst the roots our relationship never yield we shall be ever blessed by the newly emblazoned colours of each passing season.

han ( ecological romanticist )

s1owhand's photo
Tue 11/13/07 07:19 AM
i read it and enjoy and appreciate
the sentiment
it might benefit from
a different
structure
something which would
modify the pace of the reading

but it is a very nice contribution
and i hope that you will
continue
to write
and share
with all
of
us

flowerforyou

and, WELCOME to jsh bigsmile

no photo
Tue 11/13/07 07:26 AM
I believe that would actually be called spoken word...the meter and the form of it don't really qualify as "poetry" per se....but the thoughts are lovely....

dcrdnk's photo
Tue 11/13/07 07:29 AM
poetry come from the heart & soul

GREAT 1 my brother

glasses