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| Topic: Old Married Couple Jokes | |
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There was this couple who had been married for 50 years.
They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years." "Yeah," she replied, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together." "I know," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago." "Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say...should we get naked?" Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago." "I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal." 
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rofl
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LMFAO
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Edited by
ninawilliam89
on
Mon 08/01/16 12:30 AM
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Human Body Jokes
Kim Jong-Un and Vladimir Putin were having a summit meeting at a 20-story building. During a break, the two leaders made a bet about the loyalty of their guards. First, Putin called his guard Ivan into the room, opened the window and said: "Ivan, jump down." Ivan replied in tears: "Mr. President, how could you do this to me? I have a wife and a son." Putin explained that he was only joking, and let Ivan out. Then Kim Jong-Un called his guard Lee, and told him to jump. Lee started running toward the window. Putin grabbed him and said: "Are you crazy? You will die if you jump!" Struggling, Lee replied: "Let me go! I have a wife and a son!" |
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haha not bad. TY for the joke
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There was this couple who had been married for 50 years.They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years.""Yeah," she replied, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together." "I know," the old man said,"We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago.""Well," Granny snickered,"What do you say...should we get naked?"Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table."You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied,"My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.""I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps."One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."  thats some funny *** **** right there!!!!!!
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Edited by
ninawilliam89
on
Mon 08/01/16 07:35 PM
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Intercom
A Jumbojet was coming into London Heathrow after a long-haul trip from Singapore and the captain opened the intercom and said 'Ladies and gentlemen we are now making our final approach into Heathrow, we hope you've enjoyed flying with RarelyCrash Airways and that we'll see you again soon, please have a safe onward journey' at which point he forgot to turn the intercom off. He turned to the co-pilot and said 'well Roger what plans do you have for the rest of the day?' the co-pilot replied 'My wife will be at the hotel, Mike, and she's got seats booked for a West-End show, I don't know which one, what plans do you have?' The cabin crew and passengers meanwhile are quite enjoying this change from the norm. The captain continued 'as you know my divorce was finalised last week so I'll be taking a long soak in the bath before ordering dinner in my room. I'm thinking that after that I'll call the pretty new blonde stewardess working upstairs, Susanne I think her name is, and take her out for a drink then take her back to my room and give her a damn good seeing to' At that moment the passengers cheered loudly and in the upper deck Susanne realised the intercom was still on by accident and she had to get downstairs and let them know. She ran up the aisle and tripped headlong over an old ladys handbag which was poking out into the aisle. The old lady looked down at the spread-eagled young woman and said 'there's no need to hurry love, he's going to have a bath first' more jokes at : http://2jokes.net |
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rofl 
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Old man: Honeyyy, whatchy gonna wear to bed? That sexy lil nighty I bought ye?
Old wife: Hmm....Depends..... |
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ha ha ha
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too funny....
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