Topic: Are you good at dealing with.......
no photo
Thu 11/01/07 06:22 PM
Well, I know that there are good people out there but what good is it to keep idiots in my life hoping that they will change? I mean, a person can only give another so many chances to "do the right thing" and then you have to let go or you will get upset.

So I'm not reallt shutting down, I think of it more as trimming the fat.

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Thu 11/01/07 06:22 PM
really*

bigmaq4u's photo
Thu 11/01/07 06:23 PM
Angelsing,
I think Sincere is not shutting down. He's just focusing his attention elsewhere. That is the best thing to do. Use your energy productively. You'll always feel better.

Angelsing's photo
Thu 11/01/07 06:25 PM
I am going to get that Zen book tomorrow and thanks for that information.

I don't want to become a hard person, but I tell you, dealing with difficult people and adversity will make you that way.
Am I am too soft and beautiful to become a hard a$$laugh

When I'm sitting in the insane asylum, the people who put me there will be long gone and not even thinking about me.laugh

Totage's photo
Thu 11/01/07 06:26 PM
I'm upfront and honest with people, and I don't beleive in sugar coating the truth. I will tell it like it is regardless of how it makes you feel, but I'm not an asshole, if you have a problem, I'm there for you, and I'll be there to help you get through it. It's kinda like "tough love" with a gentle touch. I don't know quite how to explain it.

Angelsing's photo
Thu 11/01/07 06:29 PM
I can take the truth even if it hurts. Truthful people are not the people I'm taking about here. I think any normal thinking and reasonalbe person can appreciate a person being honest, if not while your telling them, definately when they're alone.

bigmaq4u's photo
Thu 11/01/07 06:29 PM
Angelsing, good deal. Go to Half Price Books. After my divorce, I had no direction. My church wasn't helping so I sought Peace. Found it while I assisted my Sifu.

Angelsing's photo
Thu 11/01/07 06:30 PM
Sounds like a plan, Thanks.

no photo
Thu 11/01/07 06:30 PM
Don't get me wrong, I don't just walk around all day telling people they should jump off buildings,(although some should) but what I mean is that, if someone in your life is a jackass and you let them know that they are being stupid and they don't change, why keep them around? They obviously don't care about your feelings or what they are doing to you, so it is useless to just allow them to ruin your life.

Life is way too short to be unhappy all the time and YOU are important enough to have something better.bigsmile

Angelsing's photo
Thu 11/01/07 06:33 PM
This is so true sincere, but what I have a problem with is how I let their behaviour affect ME. And to date, I feel like all the sleep I've lost and things I've said to people in the process just have not been worth it.

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Thu 11/01/07 06:36 PM
Oh, I have no idea what to do then:tongue:

Just Kidding........

I guess it's just a matter of letting go of your own thoughts (oh no the zen thing) maybe that will help.


bigmaq4u's photo
Thu 11/01/07 06:37 PM
Angelsing,
I know how you feel. Been there. The BIBLE and ZEN books will help you out alot, if you let them. Not sure which religion you follow, but with don't change your faith, just add to it.

Angelsing's photo
Thu 11/01/07 06:39 PM
Let's say somebody comes up to you and calls you a dumb a$$ jerk biotch. I mean how do you walk away from that without wanting to rip their head off.

bigmaq4u's photo
Thu 11/01/07 06:40 PM
I would ask why they are calling me that.
Why?

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Thu 11/01/07 06:40 PM
You don't... I mean I can't lol.

Angelsing's photo
Thu 11/01/07 06:42 PM
Does it matter why? It might be because they had a bad day, or they're crazy, or whatever. You know your not whatever they called you, but how do you deal. Do you walk away? How do you deal with a difficult situation like that or how would the Zen book advise?

no photo
Thu 11/01/07 06:43 PM
I try to forgive them for their inadequatecies when the BS comes around. I convert my frustration to pity.

Angelsing's photo
Thu 11/01/07 06:45 PM
laugh I wish I could do that. I convert mine by picking up a batlaugh

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Thu 11/01/07 06:47 PM
I personally don't think that god or zen will help you here. It's just a matter of ignoring them and understanding that it's not you that they are mocking or saying these mean things to, it's themselves that they are upset with and that is why they do it.

It's the standard school yard bully syndrome. Ever notice what happens to the school bullies once they get in the real world? They are the drug addicts and losers cause their insecurities finally have a chance to blossom.

bigmaq4u's photo
Thu 11/01/07 06:48 PM
It does matter. If you ask them, and they answer. You'll know why they said those things. Then you can counter by asking them why they say those words. Ask them where they go to church. Ask them if they think GOD would like the way they are acting, etc. Do all that in a calm relaxing voice. Remember, kill them with kindness. If they see you're not affected by their verbal attacks, they will stop. When you start asking them about the religious stuff, they'll back off.